Vacation + I am a Godmother!! :)

I had a GREAT time during my MUCH needed vacay to "Wilmington" to stay with Lindsey & Rhine! I am absolutely in love with their house & all their home decor. Not to mention being so close to the BEACH! I had such a great time...they were the best hosts! Not to mention I was asked to be their future child's Godmother!! During breakfast on Friday they gave me a present and it was the cutest Godmother coffee mug with an adorable quote on it (I'll have to take a pic & post it)... as I opened up the present I cried!! :) Then Rhine preceded to tell me how large of a responsibility being a MARINE Godmother was, and then why they were so glad I accepted!! I am so blessed to have such great friends who think so highly of me. I just wish Alex could have been there with me. {Somebody's gotta stay home and make that money though, I guess!} I got some really cute stuff $hopping in the cute local stores and got to work on my tan for two days while laying out on the beach! I also attended their church Sunday morning, Scott's Hill Baptist Church-- which I LOVED! They are doing a series on FAQ {Frequently Asked Questions about Christianity} and it was hilarious, educational, Biblically based, and intriguing....all at the same time! The worship service was AWESOME too...I felt like I was at a Christian concert!!

Needless to say...the drive home was a long one! :( I can't wait to come back and visit them and my new baby Godson!! I would say his name but, I don't think they've entirely agreed on one quite yet!

I miss the breezy beach already!!

Food for thought: Forgiveness

Then Peter came up to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I'll tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." -Matthew 18:21-22

Forgiveness has really been a key issue in my life lately. I go back to this verse when I am feeling defeated by others, contemplating forgiveness. I am human! I sin! I sometimes have to THINK about forgiving people, wondering if they are worthy of my forgiveness, time, and emotion. I have to remember that the exact wording of this verse is very important: I must forgive my brother (everyone) when they sin against me. Sometimes I get so bogged down because "people" aren't doing the right thing. I get mad when others make stupid choices, causing grief for those closest to them, myself included at times. I take it all personally. I've even been known to hold a grudge or two in my time {believe it or not, HA!} My thought process is flawed because simply: I am human. However, I can not use my "humanness" as justification for continuing to live in sin. I can and should only forgive those that have sinned against me. If others are sinning against others or against God, I need to pray for them. I should not take it personally or hold a grudge. If I do, then *I* am the one needing forgiveness! They have not sinned against me, therefore, forgiveness from me is not needed. {Gosh I hope my rambling is making sense.}

This passage really opened my eyes...

1 John:
1:5: This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with Him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and His word has no place in our lives.

2:1: My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him.

This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

That pretty much sums it up for me. One thing I can say for myself is {as you can also see above} I have never claimed to be perfect. I will shout it from the rooftops that I am NOT perfect! I am far from it actually and like everyone else, have my good days and have my bad days. Lucky for me, I am saved by the love and grace of Jesus Christ. The passage above reminds me that because I am a Christian, and have accepted Christ as my Savior, then when I do have my "bad days," my heavenly Father goes to bat for me. He speaks to HIS father on MY behalf, asking that I be forgiven. What an amazing thought! What an amazing thing! What an amazing Savior I have!

Forgiving one another is the hardest thing to do and the most beneficial. As God's chosen people we are to forgive all {did you hear that? ALL} grievances we have between one another because of the example set forth to us by Christ.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. -Colossians 3:12-14

and lastly....

And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your failings and shortcomings. -Mark 11:25-26, Amplified

This is why it is SO important and beneficial for us to forgive. Jesus can not do us that mighty favor by going to bat for us when we have our bad days if we have hate in our hearts, if we are holding grudges, if we are choosing to not forgive someone, for anything, no matter what. As 1st John says, if we are living in Him, we must walk as Jesus did (forgivingly). I personally do not want to sacrifice MY forgiveness, at the cost of living a life full of hate. Doesn't make sense at all to me why anyone would.

If you are choosing to hold a grudge, not forgiving someone, for anything, reconsider. The price is far too high and not even close to worth it, especially when you think about how trivial some of your grievances are. Let your light shine! Do not choose to be held captive in the darkness for another minute.

It's never too late
to turn everything around.

Things I am thankful for

My previous blog sparked this one. I needed a reality check of why I have it so good. I am thankful for so many things in my life. It'd be impossible to name everything, but, I'll begin my list. My hope is to think of something everyday I am thankful for because I am beyond blessed every day I am alive! The air in my lungs and the beating of my heart is too much of a blessing to begin with. So really, there's no way I could list everything... However, here's what's on my mind tonight that I am thankful for!

{in no particular order}

my Savior.
my grandparents.
my parents.
my brother.
MY EYESIGHT.
my loving boyfriend.
my family.
my dog(gies).
the money in my checking account.
my education.
my job.
my apartment.
tuition remission.
the people i work with.
my health.
the fact that I'm not naturally super pale.
my blackberry.
my girlfriends.
my church family.
my pastor.
air conditioning on the hot days and heat on the cold days.
my car.
leather, heated seats.
my blog followers.
members of ten minutes to get you through your day.
the little bit of metabolism i have left.
clear skin.
naturally {generally} straight teeth.
my hair straightener.
mello yello.
tile in my kitchen.
new carpet in my apartment.
bug spray/repellent.
umbrellas.
rainbows.
sweet dreams.
my new shoe rack.
pictures.
quality time.
loyalty.
undeserved love.
good memories with loved ones.
advice from my grandparents.
the relationship I have with my mom.
the fact I don't have more speeding tickets than I do.
curved grades in statistics.
multiple choice quizzes in psychopathology.
sweet sweet classmates.
my upcoming trip to Wilmington to see Lindsey. 
inspiration.
motivation.
determination.
the love and grace of Jesus Christ.

Yet I will rejoice...

I never {never say never} usually don't use my blog for venting personal emotions; however, tonight's different. I don't know why, but I feel like blogging will somehow be therapeutic for me. So, read this, or don't...I don't care today. 

That is how I started this super long venting blog, before I was smacked in the face with my most recent post on ten minutes to get you through your day.  The whole point of it really was,

"No matter what, yet I will rejoice in the Lord!"

The devotion referred to Habakkuk 3:17-18, which says...

"Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation."

I like to think of it as...

though I'm having a bad hair day

though my makeup looks like crap

though I have tons of school loans to pay off

though I don't make a lot of money

though I have way too much school work to do for the summertime

though people I love are fighting

though friends and children of my friends are dying

though I am no longer friends with those who I used to be the closest with

though none of my best girlfriends live anywhere near me

though I still have a long way to go before I graduate and can start a new life

though I found an earwig on my pillow!!

though I feel defeated

though I feel jealous

though I feel discontent

though I feel broken...

yet I will rejoice in the LORD;

I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

I really needed that reality check. I have it good. I need to watch Jessica's Daily Affirmation again. And since I can't sleep, and don't feel like beginning reading for another psychopathology quiz right now at 1:30 AM, I think I'll start a new {probably annoying to you} blog listing things I am thankful for. That ought to put things into perspective for me. Either way, I've gotta get out of this rut the Devil worked on me. I won't let him defeat me! I am kind of excited though, because that just means the Lord has something in store for me, and the Devil is trying to defeat me beforehand... I will keep my eyes and heart open, ready to receive His blessings!  Stay tuned!

My daily affirmation inspiration!

Have you seen this video on YouTube? Lucy Parker Photography posted this video on her blog and I felt I just HAD to share it with you. How awesome is this little girl?? We all have so many things to be thankful for, and we need to realize what we have been blessed with!

Alex's 24th Birthday!

So, I am thankful that I get to spend yet another one of Alex's birthdays with him...I think this is the 7th one! :) Alex is not as big of a fan of birthdays as I am, but this year, I'd say he's celebrating quite a bit. Thursday was his actual birthday and he had to WORK all day. He knows he has to get used to that. He's a workin' man now & we are both still so thankful for his job! So, Thursday after he got off work, I accompanied Alex to the gym.

Side note: At the gym I ran a mile straight for the first time in my life! I always run .2 or .3 and then speed walk for a break, then do another .2 or .3 and so on...but this time something came over me and I pushed myself to do a mile straight! I was so proud of myself. I know that may mean absolutely nothing to most of you, because you do that all the time, but it was my first time and I was proud of myself. After that {I was about to die!} Alex and I did the gym's Abs class for half an hour, then I lifted some weights before heading home. What a productive day at the gym! :)

Later that evening, I went over to Alex's for cake to give him his birthday present and to hang out with my birthday boy for a while before his grandpa of a bedtime. With all this work I'm doing lately for psychopathology, the only time Alex and I usually see each other during the week is at the gym! How sad it that?! Especially since we are living in the same city for the summer {for the most part anyways}.

Anyways, I got Alex an Armanti Edwards Carolina Panthers jersey. In case you don't know who Armanti Edwards is...he was the quarterback of Appalachian State University {where Alex and I went to college} and led them to 3 back-to-back{-to back!} national championships {the 3 years I actually attended AppState}! Just look him up on Google or YouTube. I'm not gonna lie....the videos are pretty cool.

Side note: When I got the opportunity I definitely had to snap a shot with the future Carolina Panther...

So anyways....Alex is a HUGE AppState fan, a HUGE Armanti fan, and a HUGE Carolina Panthers fan. Well, can you imagine how happy Alex was when he found out that Armanti Edwards is now a Carolina Panthers wide receiver?!

If you know me, you know I don't VOLUNTARILY spend my time watching sports on TV. Well, now I might have to.

Anyways, he LOVED his present, even though he found out what he was getting when I found him in the process of buying himself one on NFL.com. My presents to him are always a bust somehow or another. I hate that! I blame Alex {of course}. :)

Friday night we went out to eat with his family to Olive Garden and then went with Drew {Alex's brother} & Ashton {Drew's girlfriend}  to see the new movie The A-Team. I thought I'd be disappointed with it, but let me tell you, that this was action-packed AND HILARIOUS. I laughed the whole time! I'd definitely watch it again.

Tonight Alex and his boyfriends are having a boys night to celebrate his birthday while some of us girls go to Charlotte for our friend Meredith's bachelorette party! It should  be fun!

Like I said, for someone who "isn't into birthdays" sure is celebrating 3 days in a row this year! I'm glad for him though....wishing him all the happiness in the world because he's my favorite guy, deserving the best!! Love you Alex! ♥

Sex & the City 2

Click here to read the funniest, most real, {yet sad to admit, true} review on Sex & the City 2. SPOILER ALERT! {But like they said, all the true fans already know what happened anyways.} For the record: let me say that I am SO glad I saw it and I could NOT wait to see it. I'd call it "good" but it was definitely not as good as the first. The writers took our girls, whose lives revolve around NYC & took them to the Middle East. That was problemo numero uno in my eyes. Sad stuff... 

Either way, I loooove me some Sex & the City. Definitely needing to kick my marathon back up! Who wants to lend me their seasons on DVD? Oh wait, I'm taking Psychopathology right now. I'll ask again in August! :)

Love these girls..

Our trip to Atlanta for Memorial Day weekend

Last weekend, for Memorial Day weekend, Alex & I drove down to Atlanta to spend the long weekend with our friends {and soon to be newlyweds!} Meredith & Brandon! We got to check out their new house & their "new" town & experience a little Atlanta! It was such a great weekend. They were such great hosts!

We didn't get to leave until around 5 that afternoon but the Memorial Day traffic wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be! When we got into town, Alex & I went to visit his college friend, Charis. She has an awesome apartment with a great view. Her apartment complex reminded me of the beach {which I can not wait to go to!} and I think it'd be awesome to pack everything I own up, and move far away from everything! I envy her for that. If I didn't feel the need to be close to my family at this point in my my/our lives, I would have so done that a couple years ago. I guess the Lord works in mysterious ways! ;) He wanted me "here" ... or close by at least!

Anyways, we got to Meredith & Brandon's late & just chit chatted til the wee hours of the morning. We spent the weekend $hopping, eating at some YUMMY restaurants, & hanging out with each other! We attempted to go to a Braves game together but the weather was iffy & the radar showed a huge storm heading our way so we didn't go. {We went to the movies and finally got to see Date Night, which is HILARIOUS by the way!} The boys made it to the Braves game the next day while Meredith & I had a girls day! We shopped, did a couple touristy things, and then went to babysit. We BOTH made $100!! Talk about worth it! We all went to Brandon & Meredith's church Sunday morning, which was HUGE by the way. We heard a great message too! :)

It was such a great trip and I can not wait until their wedding in Mississippi in July! I am also super glad Alex and I "have to" fly in because of his work schedule....Sorry guys, I love ya both but I was not looking forward to that drive/ride there!

Here's some of my favorite pics from the weekend ::

Meredith & I in our Atlanta Braves colors :)

his hugs are my favorite ♥

having fun in our crazy photo shoot

Meredith and Brandon, a match made in heaven :)

Funny story: We saw this guy getting on his motorcyle, and he had a full blown skeleton-looking biker's outfit on! Gloves, glasses, and all! It looked pretty cool, until he was riding behind us and I realized how scary/creepy it looks...haha...

So much for free time....

Man, oh man! I've been super busy lately & have wanted to blog about so so many things! However, Psychopathology has started & we are required to:

• Post 2 discussion questions a week {no big deal if my brain would start working}
• Post 3 replies to discussion questions...FIVE OUT OF SEVEN DAYS A WEEK!
• Take 3 quizzes a week on 2-5 chapters a quiz {seriously}
• Therefore meaning, read 2 textbooks in the month of June
• Blog at least once a week {and this one doesn't count ;) }
• Take a final exam {it'll be my first one of my counseling program}
• & I'm sure something else I'm forgetting

...and that's all for a B in the class!! Whoa baby!! June will be busy, that's for sure! Keep me in your prayers because I'm going to attempt to do all the required work plus a little extra for an A {got to at least attempt to keep that 4.0} AND I'll be starting another class this Tuesday!! :/

Question of the Day:

If someone were to convict you of being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to find you guilty???

The Pink Glove Dance

This makes my heart smile. :) 

...not just the raising awareness for breast cancer, one happy dancing person at a time, but the old man in the video...look for him!

Let {Caroline & Ryan's} wedding festivities begin!

So one of my absolute favorite couples ever had began their wedding festivities & I am so grateful to be a part of it!! One of my best friends, Caroline, & her fiance, Ryan, are getting married September 4th & I am a bridesmaid. They had their engagement party Saturday at Caroline's house and it was SO gorgeous outside. Luckily it didn't rain and everything looked beautiful. Having a lake in your back yard helps too I'm sure. ;)

I didn't get too many pictures but here's a couple... here's me & the beautiful bride-to-be...

...and here's a shot of almost all the girls in attendance...such a pretty group :)

Love you guys! ♥

Disney Mean Girls

Seriously, this is one of the most awesome things I have found on YouTube to date.
You'd appreciate it a lot more if you have seen{/are obsessed with} the movie Mean Girls...

"Hey, what side's the gas tank on???"

First of all, don't mind me while I reminisce for a moment. I remember the days when I drove "the Stratus" as I called it. It had no heat, no air, and was forever out of gas!! I drove that thing until, well, it had no heat and no air. I don't recall if the Stratus had this handy little thing, but if it did, I was unaware.

Back in February, driving home from Pat's appointment at Duke Hospital, we stopped at a gas station. I'm pretty sure that Pat and I were screaming at Mom for being a horrible driver {love you Mom!} and I'm pretty sure that she made a couple last second slam-on-the-brake motions before pulling into this gas station. It was when she did it again while she asked which side the gas tank was on, when Pat introduced us to THIS:

Does this mean anything to you? No, not the fact the gas tank's on E, but look closer. Pat thought both of us were pretty out of it to NOT know about this. What is it, you ask?? Well, check out the gas symbol...there's an arrow to the left of it!! That means the gas tank's on the left!!

WHO KNEW?! 

Okay, I understand that probably some of you knew this before. HOWEVER, I KNOW that Mom & I were not the last people on the planet to figure this out! Not every car is blessed with this little symbol, but my car is {which isn't really convenient now that I've pumped gas in it more than once} & Mawmaw's car has it too! I took my grandmother's car to fill it up with gas. Pulling into the gas station I thought to myself, "Crap! I don't know which side the gas tank's on." & BAM! It hit me! I remembered to look for the arrow! Sure enough, I found out the gas tank was on the right!!

Leave it to me to have a brain fart after seeing the arrow and pulling to the RIGHT of the pump. Duh, Nicole!! But nevertheless, had I been thinking {a little more}, this handy invention would have totally served it's purpose!!

Just wanted to educate you a little tonight....You're welcome to those of you who I just enlightened! ;)

a friend-filled three days

I arrived home Tuesday evening "for the summer." {Please note that it's only Thursday evening now.} Since I got home, I have spent an hour and a half catching up with my pal Lindsey {who I am so excited to go see June 25th!}, spent an hour on the phone today with one of my best friends, Caroline, walked 4 miles & caught up with another one of my best friends, Ale, had a Grey's night with the beautiful Meredith, spent time with Alex all three nights, & spent some quality time with both my grandparents!! This has definitely been a productive "summer" so far! Alex & I are planning a trip next weekend to go see our friends Brandon & Meredith {soon to be husband & wife} & then I finally scheduled my trip to the beach to see Lindsey!! By then her baby bump will be in full force & maybe I'll get to see their nursery all put together! Oh & her & Rhine's new house! How exciting! I just can't believe how much "friend & family" time I've had in just these short {not even} three days I've been home. I am absolutely loving it! {TRUE} friends are extremely important to me. I cherish all my girlfriends and love love love when we get to catch up and/or spend time together! I hate that all my close friends live far away- but as I talked to Ale about on Wednesday, the distance has not hurt my true friendships in any way whatsoever {other than the fact that I don't get to physically see them as much as I'd like}. That's what phone dates and roadtrips are for! :) I just wanted to share this & say that I am so proud of all my girlfriends... growing up, buying houses, getting married, having babies....or being the most fabulous camp counselor ever!! ;) I can not wait to meet Baby Jervis or Baby Zoe this Fall!! :)

Now I just have to hope that summer school doesn't suck all the fun out of my friend-filled summer I have planned! ;)

The summer is beginning....

So here I am....the semester is over! All Almost all of the residents have left. My duties are complete. It feels good to say that! Today was the day I could head home for "the summer" but I'll be back & forth all summer. I'm working at the gym on campus and tried to work it in my schedule to only work on the days I had class, that way I could potentially save myself some trips to Hickory gas money! Today's the first day this semester I'm working here...11-7pm...sitting at the desk, trying to keep myself entertained. I've already caught up on Modern Family {which is my new favorite show} & ordered some Dominoes Pizza {I didn't have time to eat breakfast this morning, and did you think I'd wait til 7pm to eat for the first time today?!} I have a to-do list of things to get done around the apartment when I get off work, just so I won't have to worry about things while I'm away! I'll really only have a week off until I work again, and then another week off until I work again and summer school starts {which I'm dreading by the way}. Not much of a break, but I'll take it!!

This is the first summer in a long time I won't be working ALL the time {except my month-long trip to Costa Rica in 2007, but I worked before I left & worked when I returned} so I'm hoping to at least get a TAN! I'll be taking four summer school courses throughout the summer, so I'll have lots of studying to do...hopefully I can handle it poolside!! :)

I actually have a bit of stuff I want to do/complete this summer. A "bucket list" of sorts, if you will...

I want to:

• Get a tan! 
• Make all A's. Okay, okay, I'll settle for a B in Psychopathology! {Eek!}
• Not procrastinate with my school work
• Continue working on & hopefully complete my 2009 scrapbook
• Post devotions to "ten minutes to get you through your day" at least once a week
• Work on a Bible study of my own
• Read for pleasure...haven't decided what to read first yet! 
• Go see my friend Lindsey in Wilmington
• Have a wedding shower for Caroline
• Exercise at least three times a week
• See Sex & the City 2 in theaters
• See Eclipse in theaters on opening night...ya know, get that fanatic experience {even though I'm not a die-hard fan}

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

This morning in Sunday School, we were blessed with a really good lesson.

The lesson was about what you consider rich, and always wanting more, even though there are people who live on FAR FAR FAR less and there will always be someone that has MORE than you, and what the Bible describes as being truly rich. But that's not what I'm blogging about tonight.

In discussion after our video we watched, one of us mentioned how we, as humans, think that we should treat people how they treat us. An eye for an eye. If someone's mean to us, be mean back. If someone's nice to us, be nice back. You get the jist....

But, not as humans, but as Christians, we should NOT give an eye for an eye. As Gandhi said,

" An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

Matthew 7:12 says, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." 

It doesn't say do to others what they do to you. It is saying that we should treat people the way we WANT to be treated, no matter HOW they treat us! 

I was personally convicted by this statement this morning. I am definitely guilty of this. I try my hardest to be nice to everyone, at first. If someone is rude to me, or does something against me, I'll give them another chance. I'll turn the other cheek. However, after a while, if it continues, I am quick to write someone off. This does did not bother me because I only want to surround myself with those who lift me higher. I do not want to continually bother myself with those who are rude to me, etc. I do not consider it a loss, but my world a better place.

How UN-Christian of me is that?!?! It is probably the rudest people, or people that are the most rude to me, that I should be being an example to the most. Now, let me say, that I do not approve of being a doormat. I am simply saying to not give up on people. I am saying that instead of turning around and walking the other way, avoiding certain someones, or holding anger in yourself... say hello! Give a compliment! Ask how they're doing! It's the least you could do, and maybe all that's necessary. Nothing will be solved if you have a "let's see who can be the rudest the longest" competition. 

My prayer for myself and for everyone else is that we will quit holding grudges, quit being rude to one another on purpose, and learn to let things go. People who say they "don't like drama" are usually the ones who are surrounded by drama the most. FYI: there is one common denominator in all your failed friendships, in all your "dramaful" relationships. And that is YOU! Figure out why, and work to fix it! {and I am saying this to myself as well, don't you worry....} 

After having this conversation in Sunday School this morning, I definitely became aware and convicted, and have already tried working on it! It'll be a life-long effort, but one that's worth it! Life is too short and you weren't meant to hold on to that petty anger anyways. Be free! Free yourself!

The Five Love Languages... Chapter Three

Chapter Three: Falling in Love

First of all, let me say that when I hear "falling in love" I think about a couple things. I think about "movie love" where there's a music montage full of first kisses and flowers in the park and ball games where you're dressed alike... you know, movie love! I also think about annoying middle schoolers, or high schoolers that act like middle schoolers, or come to find out there's college-aged people that do the same thing- & that's "fall in love" on day one! They're saying "I love you" and posting the date of when they started dating (a week ago) on every Facebook status. They're just so annoying. A month later there's a new date, and a new name, and a new false "I love you" being proclaimed. I really just want to shake some sense into people sometimes! But anyways... ;)

Everyone agrees that being "in love" is the necessary foundation for a good marriage. Now, that, I agree with. {Well, I don't agree with the fact that everyone agrees, but I agree that you're marriage is going to be pretty shotty if going INTO it at least you wouldn't be able to say you were "in love."}

Welcome to the real world of marriage, where hairs are always on the sink and little white spots cover the mirror, where arguments center on which way the tissue paper comes off and whether the lid should be up or down. It is a world where shoes do not walk into the closet and drawers do not close themselves, where coats do not like hangers and socks go AWOL during laundry. In this world, a look can hurt and a word can crush. Intimate lovers can become enemies, and marriage a battlefield. What happened to the "in love" experience? Our problem was faulty information. The bad information was the idea that the "in love" obsession would last forever. We should have known better. 

First, falling in love is not act of the will or a conscious choice. No matter how much we may want to fall in love, we cannot make it happen.

Now...I am not knocking those of you who truly believe you are in love! For some of you, I believe you are too! That is a wonderful thing. Embrace it! The point of this chapter, and something I firmly agree with, is the fact that that feeling will not last forever! There will come a time when you will fight, be hurt, second guess, say things you don't mean, or just simply act selfishly {which is human nature, by the way.} That doesn't mean you give up, or you do not love the person anymore, it just means that that infatuation stage has passed, and it's time for REAL love {so that's a good thing!}

We should recognize the in-love experience for what it is--a temporary emotional high--and now pursue "real love" with our spouse. That kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. {Nobody likes an obsessed person.} It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth. Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct.

 I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving. 

That kind of love requires effort and discipline. It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction--the satisfaction of having genuinely loved another. It does not require the euphoria of the "in love" experience. In fact, true love cannot begin until the "in love" experience has run its course.

Now, I can see how you fellow hopeless romantics out there may not like this chapter. Where's the shooting stars, the balloons, the deep emotions? What about the spirit of anticipation, the twinkle of the eye, the electricity of a kiss, the excitement of sex? What about the emotional security of knowing that I am number one in his/her mind? Well that's what the book is all about. Meeting each other's need to feel loved, bringing back that infatuation {maybe back, maybe not} into the relationship, to stay, for good! :) If you keep your love's love tank full, you'll be good to go!!

The Five Love Languages... Chapter Two

Chapter Two: Keeping the Love Tank Full

This chapter is basically about the following:

• Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need.
• The need to feel loved by one's spouse is at the heart of marital desires.
• Inside every person is an "emotional tank" waited to be filled with love.
• Material things are no replacement for human, emotional love.
• Whatever quality of your relationship now, it can always be better.

I especially liked that last part. Some people think "they don't need help." and that their relationships are "fine." Honestly, it could always be better!  Because you work on better communicating and making your love happy, doesn't mean there was a flaw in your system. It just means that you want to be the best that you can be, together!

The Five Love Languages... Chapter One

Chapter One: What happens to love after the wedding?

I am reading The Five Love Languages: How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate. The title sounds super boring, but let me be one to tell you that this is such a good book!

People speak different native languages. We grow up learning the languages of our parents and siblings, which become our primary, or native language. Later, we may learn additional languages but usually with much more effort. These become our secondary languages. We speak and understand best our  native language. We feel most comfortable speaking that language. The more we use a secondary language, the more comfortable we feel conversing in it. If we speak only our primary language and encounter someone else who speaks only his or her primary language, which is different from ours, our communication will be limited. We can communicate, but it's awkward. If we are to communicate effectively across "language lines", we must learn the language of those with whom we wish to communicate.

People speak different love languages, just like people speak different native languages. This book talks about five different love languages: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Look at the above paragraph on native languages, and think of it as love languages. We have to figure out the love language of whoever it is we are wanting to communicate with, so they can understand us and the motive behind our efforts!  We also need to figure out our own  love language so we can let others know how best to communicate with us! The important thing is to "speak" the love language of who it is we're trying to communicate with.  Does that make sense? I hope so.

Take my word for it- Read the book! ANYWAYS...

In personal books of mine, I highlight sentences or passages I read that I either love or want to stick with me. I'll share some with you...

The desire for romantic love in marriage is deeply rooted in our psychological makeup. 

{Me, being the Psychology major and Counseling graduate student I am, thought this was important to remember! ;)}

Seldom do a husband and wife have the same primary emotional love language. We tend to speak our primary love language, and we become confused when our spouse does not understand what we are communicating. We are expressing our love, but the message does not come through because we are speaking what, to them, is a foreign language.

Once you identify and learn to speak your spouse's primary love language, I belive that you will have discovered the key to a long-lasting, loving relationship/marriage. Love need not evaporate after the wedding, but in order to keep it alive most of us will have to put forth the effort to learn a secondary love language. We cannot rely on our native tongue if our spouse does not understand it. If we want him/her to feel the love we are trying to communicate, we must express it in his or her primary love language.  

I think the premise behind this book makes absolute sense! I believe relationships are work...especially after you get past that just-started-dating, totally-in-love, they-could-never-do-wrong phase. I also believe that once you have that special someone in your life, the work is worth it. :)