Job Hunt Update

I will try to make this as quick as possible.
1) Because my last couple posts have been really long.
2) I don't want to jinks myself.
{& other reasons I'd rather not name.} ;)

I did not get the job at Lincolnton High School. But I did have an{other} interview. It was super impromptu and I can't really gauge how I feel about how well it went.
It was not for a job I had applied for; which is shocking...
But maybe it is simply *meant to be.*

Totally counting my chickens and saying if I get this job, then I will weigh its benefits vs. the benefits of a job offered to me from my fabulous internship site. I am unsure of the position at my internship site, Support Incorporated, yet, as I just found out that I will not be provisionally licensed until at least January 2012! I meet with them Monday to discuss my options for employment with them. They are a great company and would be a pleasure to work for, so...

...if I've said it once, I've said it a million times...

what's meant to be will be

and until I find out what it is, I will trust in God to provide.

"If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time."
-Habakkuk 2:3 {The Message}
This passage keeps me hopeful :)

Thank God He changed my plan!!

It’s my last week of my internship with Support, Incorporated.  It’s a bittersweet feeling because I don’t know what my future holds.  I applied for a job as a school counselor, two actually, and had a second interview.  I’m still {patiently} waiting to hear back about that.  I should hear something this week!  And I also have been talking with my internship site about working for them… I honestly have absolutely no idea what I want more, or what I’ll be even offered – so I’m trying not to worry about it.  I can honestly say I am 100% wanting to leave this BIG decision in my life up to the one and only person I know that is equipped to make such important life decisions… God!  

Do you ever sit back and look at what *you* had planned and then marvel at how God took your plan in the palm of His hand and crumbled it up & threw it in the trash, simply because He had something better in mind??  Right now, I am doing exactly that!

*My* plan was to have a summer internship where I was guaranteed direct contact hours with clients.  Actually, my plan was to have a PAID internship this summer, but, needless to say, that didn’t quite work out. I searched and searched and searched for an internship.  I accepted the fact that I wasn’t going to have a paid internship, but I got an opportunity to work part-time on campus for six weeks after school let out. That’d at least give me some money, and some is better than none, right? Well, I couldn’t even find an UNpaid internship in Hickory, or in Lincolnton for that matter.

My professor thought he had a lead, so I pursued that, desperate for an internship!  It actually worked out & I would be able to intern there, for an agency in Gastonia doing DWI groups.  But being in Gastonia would mean that I couldn’t work part-time on campus {because it’s an hour from Hickory, gas ain’t free, and I wasn’t making any other money}, which stunk!  Another bad thing was, was that I could get direct hours there, but not many indirect, as they are only open for time for groups!

As luck would have it, the day that the lead from my professor worked out, I got a call back from “an agency in Lincolnton” that I had inquired about.  Their main office was in Gastonia, so I talked to the supervisor there, and he informed me that I COULD intern there, but it would have to be in Gastonia, as they are not often in their Lincolnton office.  It was actually a minute down the same road as my other internship!  The only bad thing about it was that he didn’t think I could get all my direct hours there, as they contracted out for therapy.   I thought, “No problem because I can get all my direct hours right down the road!”  Seemed perfect, right?  Well that’s what I thought too!

As hard as it was to secure these internships, I didn’t want to deny either one of them.  And it looked like I wasn’t going to have to deny anyone anyways because of the direct/indirect hour conflicts.  So *I* worked out a plan.  I was going to split my time between both places, especially since they were so close in distance.   I was going to get my direct hours in one place, and my indirect hours in another. 

Well, long story short: that didn’t work out.  I needed to get ALL of my hours this summer at the second agency, Support Incorporated.  It was going to be tough, but it was possible.  I wouldn’t be able to do therapy like everyone else in my class, but I would be able to get creative and find alternative ways of getting direct contact hours.  My supervisor was THE MOST supportive in this endeavor, and for that I am so thankful!

So, there I was…

·         Instead of having a paid internship- I ended up in an unpaid internship.

·         Instead of being able to work part-time- I wasn’t able to make a dime all summer.

·         Instead of being in Lincolnton or Hickory- I ended up in Gastonia.

·         Instead of splitting my time between two agencies to ensure I got my hours- I had to intern at one and get creative to find ways to get all my direct hours in.

·         INSTEAD OF DOING WHAT *I* HAD PLANNED- GOD’S PLAN PREVAILED!

And boy, am I glad it did! Don’t get me wrong…

I would have loved to work with Jamie this summer & make some money.

I would have loved to intern closer to home since I wasn’t making any money, especially since gas is so expensive!

I would have loved to not have to worry about direct hours and just show up & clients be court-ordered to appear, instead of watching Medicaid client after Medicaid client choose to just NOT come to their appointments.

But at the end of the day, I would have traded this internship experience for another! Therapy or no therapy, I got some of the best experience!  I got to work with great people who were supportive, helpful, willing to teach, and just enjoyable to be around!!  My supervisor was great, trusting me to do the work and willing to teach me so many things!   

Can you tell why this experience ending is so bittersweet for me??  I am just so thankful to God for taking *my* plan and ripping it to shreds!!  He showed me, for the millionth time, that He knows what’s best for me and I just need to sit on the sidelines and watch Him do work in my life!!

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I firmly believe you have to make efforts in your life to be blessed.  You can’t JUST sit on the sidelines and wait for God to move mountains for your lazy butt!  But I believe God blessed me because 1) He knew my needs, 2) I tried to be faithful in the situation, believing that something perfect would eventually work out, 3) I did my part- I made a million phone calls. 

So, in my present situation, I am praying for God’s will in my life.  I am not trying to sway myself either way.   For the school positions: I have done the work, applied for jobs, gone to two interviews, and made follow-up emails and phone calls.  For a future agency position: I have let Support know that I am also interested in working with them in the future and will be discussing with them soon employment opportunities for August. 

The rest is a waiting game—seeing what happens, figuring out my options, making a decision. 

Pray with me that God’s will prevails in my life and that the perfect job for me is made available, meeting my needs and providing me with a chance to help others, whether that be in a school setting or in an agency setting.   And pray that I stay patient, because if you know me, you know it’s hard for me!  August is just a week away and undergrad school loans are due a month from graduation!

But it’s okay, God’s plan will prevail…

and I heard it’s a perfect & pleasing plan, so I guess I can wait for it. :)

This seriously happened.

So, basically over a month ago I signed up to take the Praxis. It's a test you have to take {and pass} to become a licensed school counselor.  Two days before my test, my dad asked me to help him with his yard sale. Yep, the day of my big test. Him not having any more help and me, being the generous daughter I am, offered to get up at the buttcrack of dawn, go get us breakfast, and then help him for a few hours before I had to head to Hickory to take my test at 10:45.  So, that's what I did. It only takes about 30 minutes to get to Hickory so I left around 10:00, hoping to get there early and be ready to take the test. I get there about 15 minutes early, got myself a good parking spot, and went inside. There were SO many people in line and there for a while, the line was not moving. I didn't know I'd have to wait in line forever. Come to find out, the "test start time" is just a made up time they want you to be there and get in line; generally, the test doesn't start until about 30 minutes after you thought it would. 

Well, I forgot my admission ticket. You know, the paper you need to register. I didn't think I had time to find an open computer lab on campus and print another one off. But, then again, hindsight is 20/20- I was in that line for half an hour.  I thought, it's totally okay...I have the admission ticket in my email and I'll just show it to the person at the desk from my phone when I get up there. No big deal, right? WRONG! 

So I'm in line half an hour, get up to the lady at the desk, and it was a woman I knew from campus. I told her I didn't have my paper but showed her my admission ticket on my phone.

"It's okay, you don't really even need that paper anyways, as long as you're on this checksheet." 

Great! Okay...

She then proceeded to circle my test and room number, wrote my registration number on the back of that paper since I didn't have my admission ticket, and told me my test room was upstairs.
Phew! Okay. That was easier than I thought it was going to be... On to take my test!! 

I went upstairs to my test room and waited for the 3rd test taker to arrive. Yep, there is a building full of Praxis test takers and our test has a whopping three test takers. 

The administrator tells us to put everything away and keep our admission ticket and our ID on our desks during the test.

"I don't have my admission ticket. It's okay though, I showed it to the lady at the desk on my phone and she checked me off the list and sent me up here. I have my registration number though."

She said that was fine, and I sat there and waited.
She started to read the standardized test instructions and then all of a sudden she must have read something to spark her memory and said, "Oh no! Wait! You have a phone!!"

"Yeah, I do. I had to use it to show the lady my admission ticket. But it's okay. It's turned off, in my purse, and under my desk." What else do you want, lady? It's not like I can use it to cheat or something.

"Well ETS rules STRICTLY PROHIBIT the possession of cell phones in the building."

Yes, she said in the building.
She then went and got one of the posters that are plastered all over the place.

"See?! It says NO CELL PHONES and having one will result in the dismissal of the test."

Are you SERIOUS?

Yes, I saw the posters, but it was a big red circle with a line through it over a phone with a bunch of writing on it. I just thought it was saying you can't your phones into your test, have them out, or use them in some way during the test. You know, the usual, non-psychotic cell phone rules.

"I'm going to have to call the head lady up here and ASK HER WHAT TO DO because THIS SAYS that you should be DISMISSED."

"Yeah, call her up here because my phone is turned off, in my purse, and under my seat."

She called the lady up and it was the lady I had met with downstairs!
"Yes, ETS rules strictly prohibit cell phones in the testing centers."

"But I just showed it to you because I didn't have my admission ticket and thought I needed it. It's not even turned on. It's not on my desk. I'm not using it. It didn't go off. I don't get it. There are probably at least 100 people here with cell phones in their possession. Why am I being singled out?!"

"Ma'am, you're not being singled out. These are the rules. They're not MY rules."

"After you saw the phone YOU sent me upstairs. I assumed all was well. Why NOW is this an issue? This is an expensive test {$150} and I have waited months to take it."

"Well, I can call ETS and explain the situation to them but I KNOW what they're going to say."

"Yes, please do because again, this was expensive and I need to take this test. I haven't done anything wrong."

She comes back and says that ETS said that I was to be dismissed for having a cell phone in my possession in the testing center.
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?
"I'm sorry," she said.

"Yeah, you sound like you're sorry."

I was livid. I tried to keep my cool though.
As I left the room, the test administrator apologized to me as well.
SERIOUSLY LADY, stuff your bull crap apology up your butt because if you would have just been NORMAL and let me keep my phone OFF and UNDER MY DESK then none of this would have happened.

Now I have to file an appeal and see what I can do about scheduling to take this test AGAIN and HOPEFULLY not having to pay another $150.
Why the test administrator was a freaking psychotic Nazi, I don't know.
Why I was overlooked and then singled out, I don't know.
Why it's such a big deal if someone has POSSESSION of a cell phone in the test BUILDING, I DON'T KNOW!

But anyways, my rant is over. What's done is done. Lesson learned: read signs and be prepared.
But man, did that burn me up!!
Can you tell? Haha

The Wild & Wonderful Whites.....

I'm going to be honest- this is going to be a really long and a really weird blog post. Brace yourself!

So, Drew's girlfriend, Ashton, was telling me about this show/documentary/movie that they watched on HBO called The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia.

Wikipedia describes it in a nutshell as:

The documentary The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia (2009) directed by Julien Nitzberg and produced by Johnny Knoxville follows the White Family for one year and primarily consists of first person interviews detailing the poverty, crime, addiction and the ramifications of the coal-mining industry on Appalachian society.

 Okay, so the fact that Johnny Knoxville took an interest in this family should have been the second thing to warn me {Ashton being the first} but "the ramifications of the coal-mining industry on Appalachian society" meant nothing to me really, other than, of course you figure being secluded for generations can do crazy things in the minds of coal miners and their families.  I seriously had no idea.

The movie was basically a family full of "outlaws" or "rebels", whatever you want to call them- Hillbillys with no moral code and Disability checks to pay for their drug habits is basically what it is.  I could not believe the way some people think- or, how much they don't think.  It seriously is a crazy documentary. Don't believe me? Here's the trailer:


Okay, so, you get the idea now...

These people are FOR. REAL. To the killing people and the grandma covering it up, to the baby being taken by Child Protective Services for being born addicted to drugs, to doing drugs at the grandma's birthday party with the little kid in the room, to having one family member shoot the face off of another. I mean this family is certifiably CRAZY.

With that being said, this sparked a conversation today between a "co-worker" {Ashley from my internship} and myself about....people such as this {for lack of better words.}We were talking about how some people are raised like this from day one and simply do not know any better. Some people don't have any chance in the world. Some people don't have an opportunity for an education or for a way out. Some people live their whole entire lives surrounding in some horribleness and never know anything better. The generations continue and the cycle never ends. That is a cryin' shame, I tell you, but it's the truth!

AND- as I watched this, it pulled at my heartstrings. For instance, the baby born with drugs in its system. That baby was beautiful! It was sitting there in the hospital bassinet with a pretty little pink bow in her hair. And what does the mom do? Crushes some pills and snorts them right there in the hospital room! This was right after she was talking about how she wanted better for her child...she wanted her child to have hopes and dreams, and to make something of herself, have an education, the whole nine yards. I was thinking- How would that baby ever have a chance with you acting like that as her mother?!  I didn't see CPS coming, because there's all kinds of kids in this crazy family, but I'm sure glad they did! There was no way in the world that baby was going to be cared for the way it should be with its mother acting the way she was.

I really DON'T know where I'm going with this...because I could go on a rant about drug abuse, the social security system, cultural sensitivity, it all. But I won't. Unless you just want me to. ;)

But, my point is...this stuff exists. People like this exist. And they aren't only in West Virginia in the Appalachian mountains either. I bet they're in Lincoln County- people acting like this, maybe not as drastic, but maybe. We never know. Drugs fry your brain and make people do THE stupidest stuff- and I think this is a great example. It's also a great example of how poverty and a family's culture can literally hold a person back from obtaining their full potential.

I don't know what I'd do if someone from the White family came into an agency where I worked and was court-ordered to receive mental health services. Holy moley! I'd sure be praying a lot, that's for sure! And if I'm ever a school counselor, I hope that my radar goes off and I notice a child in need- who may not have opportunities, support, resources, love, a good influence, MEDICATION, whatever it is they need to succeed, and latch onto them and do what I can to help them help themselves.

Okay, I think I can hop off my soap box now. :)

His perfect plan....

Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with me. I have been MIA from the blog world {once again} for far too long! I am interning 40 hours a week, spending time after I get home at the gym, getting dinner, winding down for a few, and then trying to get in bed at a decent time. That is my life. This is my summer. I am a LAH-WHO-ZA-HER! For real. But, I'm getting my internship hours completed and that makes me so happy! I am absolutely loving my internship site and the people who work there, but at some point in time, I will officially graduate, have to start paying student loans back, and well, frankly, {as Dwight from The Office says} "Gas ain't free!" Haha....

No but really, I'm really enjoying my internship site, getting to do some clinical evaluations, getting some great experience diagnosing mental health clients and referring them to services. It's been such a great experience and I am learning SO much. Everyone there is so helpful and is willing to teach me what I need to learn to be successful in a future mental health career. I am SO thankful for the opportunity and for the experience. God knew what He was doing and what I needed and I knew there was no reason to fret when I couldn't find an internship, then when I realized I had two and had to split my time, and then when I realized I had to lose an internship. It was all in His plan, His perfect plan!! 

Trusting God is something that is becoming so natural to me. Things fall apart and people do things to hurt me, I don't have any future plans, but I need some, and time is ticking, and quite frankly, I should be freaking out. But, I'm not. Why freak out?  Has it not always worked out before? Has God not always provided my needs? I am going to be honest. I have been straight up BLESSED. If I ever needed a job, I found one, one was given to me, something crazy rare just suddenly *popped up* out of nowhere and I was given another opportunity. God has always known what I needed and provided exactly that for me. I've been in ruts and He has pulled me out. I have complete faith that He will continue to do that for me, especially with my upcoming job search.

God knows I need a job for August.  God knows I am fishing for a lead. But I don't want to grab up the first job offer I'm offered for a job I applied for just because I have to have money. I want to be where God wants me to be. I want to be where I'm needed and where I can grow and learn and be a part of something great! 

I can't sit back and expect God to give. I'm applying for jobs. But I know what I'm passionate about and what I'm not. If I think I would hate a job, or if I know the environment is not healthy, then I am not applying for those jobs. I want to apply for those jobs where I believe I would be able to help people, doing something I'm interested in and would enjoy, and in a good work environment.  I don't want to set myself up for disappointment. I don't want to rush into a decision. I don't want money to be my deciding factor. I am just going to continue to pray for God's will in my life. That He will provide a way, a lead, an interview, a JOB OFFER {or two} and I pray that I can make the right decision, and, hopefully not before too long {if I could have my way}. 

But, until then, I'll just appreciate my first real big-girl job interview and pray that the right job for me is offered to me! I would love love love the job I was interviewed for, but if I am not offered the position, I will keep my faith in God that He will provide the job that I am truly supposed to be at in August. {Dear God please let it be August.} I should find something out next week.

Until then, I'll be playing the waiting game! :)

Help Me Meet My Goal!!

Listen up, blog followers!!

As you may know, I sell Mary Kay. I have a personal career goal to sell $400 by the end of the month! That's less than  a week at this point! I am on my way to reaching my goal but need YOUR help! I don't care where you are in the country, if you want some Mary Kay, I'm your girl! You can always browse my Mary Kay website and check out all the amazing products, or, if you already use and love Mary Kay- you order something you're out of or something new you've been wanting to try! I will ship it to you for free!

Also- as always, I am offering a free gift to anyone who makes a $40 or more purchase!!

And this goes for you men out there too! Mary Kay has a men's line of products. While it's not nearly as large as the women's line, you can still get some pretty awesome products geared to you guys out there! BUT, don't forget that you can also totally buy your favorite girl a present for an upcoming holidy, or ya know, for no reason at all. :) {She'll LOVE you for it. You can thank me later.}


If you want to help but have no idea where to start, email me at nicolesykes@marykay.com and I would love to help you figure out something that you can use and will love for your budget!!

Can't help financially? Please pray with me that I am able to meet this personal goal of mine. :)

Don't forget, ANY little bit HELPS! No matter if it's a lipstick, lip gloss, concealer, eyeshadow, foundation, skin care product, mascara.....whatever!! Any little bit will get me one step closer to meeting my goal!! I would appreciate it SO stinking much- you have no idea.

And if you want to spread the word, PLEASE do so!
That's what's so awesome about us bloggers- we're great at spreading the word!! ;)

Cycling hurts...but it feels so good!

First of all, let me start this by saying- you may be an avid runner. You may work out every day. You may be a health nut. But I am NONE of the above! So, with that said...

I am so proud of myself! I ate light & healthy today & then had the workout of my life! Drew's {Alex's brother's} girlfriend, Ashton, invited me to the Spin/Tone class at our local gym and let me tell you {oh wait, I already did...} it was the workout of my life! I was so stinking hot & soaking from sweat when I left that place! It felt great! I am gonna be so sore tomorrow...I just have that feeling! & I definitely need to take some Tylenol because my "butt" bone is bruised I swear! How on earth do people "cycle" on a regular basis and NOT hurt their "butt" bone?? I'm the first to say, I have a huge butt. But it wasn't cushion enough for that bike!! I am thinking the part where you stand up while you while you pedal is supposed to be "the hard part" but let me tell you, I look forward to getting up off that seat! OUCH!

This is gonna be Alex on Wednesday!

Oh, and speaking of "OUCH"...those lunge holds were killer!!! But, I will definitely go back! :-) It does feel great to be productive & knowing I'm working towards my goal! I just can't wait to start seeing some results from all this time spent and pain gained. Hopefully soon!!

But, I am MORE proud of myself because of how healthy I've eaten today. For breakfast I had Special K crackers in the car on the way to my internship {with a Mello Yello}. I have to have a soft drink first thing in the morning! I can't imagine drinking the dreaded WATER first thing in the morning. Yuck!! For lunch I had some more Special K crackers with a Laughing Cow light creamy swiss triangle {for lack of better words.} I love that combo & together they are less than 150 calories! Oh, and I had some yummy strawberries too. :) Surprisingly though, I was full- so I just stopped eating. Shocker, I know! Then on the way home I had some grapes. And then after that workout, I had a yummy Granny Smith apple with some peanut butter. Only, I had one more bite I didn't finish because I swore I was gonna hurl it back up! Talk about FULL! Blugh!

But, it feels good to be full, happy, and I haven't even had chocolate today!!! I am starting to think that this whole thing is possible. It feels good to have hope! I just hope I keep it up!

A Fallen Marine is Remembered

Today I had the honor of witnessing the funeral procession of a fallen marine from Stanley, NC. I intern in Gastonia and his body traveled from the airport in Charlotte to a church in Gastonia where a memorial service was held in honor of this soldier. I'll be honest- I don't watch the news really and I hardly ever read a newspaper. So I've been in my own little world and hadn't known that this had happened. But as the day went on, I heard about the memorial service, but what was most talked about was the fact that members of Westboro Baptist Church were planning on protesting this hero's memorial service. SERIOUSLY. I had heard about this stupid church and it's completely UNchristian, UNloving, HATEFUL mission before but I didn't know that really. come. to. EVERY. fallen soldier's funeral. I'm not going to link to the church to support their website visitation {in case they get paid per visit or something} but you can Google them if you want to know more about them.

One thing I learned about today & witnessed was this:

There are some groups of motorcyclists who take to their bikes to protect families from Westboro Baptist Church protesters. The American Legion Riders and Patriot Guard Riders are both national organizations, that make a presence at soldier funerals. Both groups are open to all kinds of people, with the goal of respecting the soldiers and their families and let them mourn without distraction. Even with the protesters members of the groups say they manage to keep it peaceful.
"We don't confront the Westboro Baptist Church. Their goal is to promote their particular world view and that's fine. We just don't want them to bother the families of the soldiers as they do it," said American Legion Rider Chris Radloff.
They will only show up at the funerals with families' approval.

I think this is such a great idea-- Something/Someone to barricade the family from the evil protesters so they aren't hurt anymore than they already have been. They've already given the ultimate sacrifice....what more do these idiots want???

Can you tell that these people annoy me?

But anyways, back to the GOOD stuff...

The town of Gastonia {and probably the surrounding towns as well} asked their community to come out and line the streets of Hwy 74, the highway the procession traveled. They were supposed to come through the area around 1:15-1:45 today. Well, about 2:10, they came by. Luckily my internship site is on Hwy 74 so we got to go out & witness it to honor Lance Corporal Nic O'Brien.

Here's a little bit of info I found out about O'Brien. You can google more info if you wish:

Lance Corporal Nic O’Brien, 21, was killed June 9 in Afghanistan after being hit by an improvised explosive device (IED). He was serving in Helmund province, one of the most dangerous parts of Afghanistan.
Josh Cathorne, O’Brien’s best friend and fellow marine, was seriously injured by the explosion.
O’Brien was an East Gaston High School graduate who played baseball and soccer. He was offered an academic scholarship to college but went into the Marines, something he’d talked about doing for years.
O’Brien’s memorial service was held Monday afternoon at the First Assembly Church of God on Myrtle Road in Gastonia. The service was open to the public.
O’Brien will be laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery with full military rights June 28.

And here's a video of the funeral procession....check out all those motorcycles from The American Legion Riders and Patriot Guard Riders!!

I am so thankful for this boy giving his life so that I can live in peace and have the freedoms I {try not to} take for granted!

Attention Deficit Disorder

Having ADD myself, this video is like an AH-HA moment! Of course I could have told you this was what I was doing all along, but watching a silly video of "myself" just makes me realize that I need a good cattle prod every now & then to finish a task! I have a couple hours to kill before we go eat a fabulous Japanese steakhouse dinner tonight, so, I think I'll go finish an incomplete task I have floating around....I can see a couple in sight right now! Who's with me?? :)

Happy Friday everyone!

I Drive Myself Crazy

So, as a future counselor, if I have a client that comes in, super stressed out with the world on their shoulders one approach in helping them would be to help them figure out what they can & can't change, and then working with them on figuring out ways to help them change/control what they can & worry less about what they can't fix. For those of you who ARE "that client," easier said than done, right? Right! I know I can say that with an exclamation point because I am "that client." I always stress out way too much, get upset about things I can't control, and then don't take time for myself, focusing on what I can control. One thing I should be controlling, and should have been controlling for years is my to-do list. Things should never stay on your to-do list for months. Seeing the list grow is just anxiety forming. Then follows the guilt of not accomplishing tasks, false promises of doing better tomorrow, tomorrow approaching and you're in over your head again, pushing your tasks to the side, holding them off until tomorrow. Then the whole cycle repeats, doesn't it? Drives. Me. Crazy. But I do it anyways, knowingly! Drives. Me. Even. More. Crazy! But really, I am aware, and I am a big girl. What I do or don't do for myself is my own fault, my own choice, and I'll face my own consequences. 

I have so many things I WANT to do, for myself. So many things that I blogged about it last month. Since I blogged, what have I done? Well, I have started to work out, and I have started to run again. I went to "the beach" but I didn't see the ocean- so I don't think that counts. I must make another trip! ;) Other than that, I've been slacking! Oh no! I also have been reading Made to Crave and going to church on a weekly basis! So, I guess I didn't make my summer to-do list too unrealistic, but I definitely should have added 300 hours of interning to that list to make myself feel better about devoting so much time to "things" off the list.

I would like to start a girls get-together/Book club/Bible study/whatever else you want to call it. Like I said, I'm reading Made to Crave and LOVE it and feel like so so so many girls need to read it too, and would love it with me! It's something you can read by yourself, but I can see why they have groups of women read it together. Accountability is such a powerful thing! If you are in the Lincolntonish area & would like to join me, let me know! I would love to share this experience with you! 

Well, that's enough for tonight....

My hot shower made me sleepy and I need to NOT be up until 1:00 again tonight. So, I'm going to try to get some rest earlier than normal tonight. I'm really really really trying this normal sleep cycle thing. It's not working out well, but darn it, I'm still working on it! :) 

"If at first you don't succeed, try and try again." 

♥

TLC Shows, Internship Situation, & Gym Distractions

So, I'm sitting here...winding down from my not-as-busy-as-usual, watching another ridiculous show on TLC. Tonight, we're not watching some stupid British or Irish teenage gypsy girl, planning the over the top wedding of her dreams because that's what she'll be remembered for (because she can't read or write, dropped out of school at age 13, and is doomed to clean her and her super douchebag of a husband's trailer for the rest of her life). No, tonight we're watching stupid moms living vicariously through their five year old daughters who they allow to tell her what each one of them will do, while wearing fake teeth, hair, tan, nails, after their spa facial and emotional breakdown. SERIOUSLY! These people exist! Kudos to TLC for exposing, I mean sharing, the madness because I am hooked! 

So what have I been doing? Have I not been blogging because I've been watching TLC? Yes and no. I actually started my internship(s) a couple weeks ago & have been spending a lot of time there....and attempting getting on a real sleep schedule. I had a little "issue" with my internship so, here's the short story:

To work with substance abuse clients, you're legally supposed to be registered with the NC "Substance Abuse Board" (NC Substance Abuse Professional Practice Board). Some internship sites will let you basically work there for free, getting the experience, and don't care if you're registered with the board or not. My internship site isn't taking any chances, and asked that I be registered before I do ANY, and I mean ANY work with substance abuse clients. I got my internship later in the year, and didn't know I had to register, then had to wait to get the packet, met with my supervisor to fill it out, and it took a week for me to get someone at the police station to fingerprint me, and then I sent it to the board probably the 1st of June. Problem is: it takes about 4 WEEKS to get it back saying I'm officially registered!!! Until I'm registered, all I could do was observe...which is great at first, but my internship's only about 8 weeks long & I can't spend half of that time only observing! So, I'm spending all of my time at my other internship site, which I LOVE, until I'm officially registered with the board. If I get registered before July's over, then I'll get to do some court-ordered DWI groups for offenders. I observed a number of these groups & really am excited about having the {potential} opportunity to do some myself! Fingers crossed! :) 

Side note: In the end, it wasn't the police officer's, or the station's fault- so don't hate on them. :)

So, I've been interning! And watching TLC! & GOING TO THE GYM! Alex has been dragging me to the gym and I love him for it. I'm sore as can be today but plan on going back tomorrow. I know it's not a big deal to you, but I ran for 10 minutes straight yesterday. That's a big deal to me! That NEVER happens. There has to be something good on in front of the TV for me to stay focused distracted enough to run more than like two minutes. I lost my iPod's ear buds and music really doesn't do it for me anyways. Wish it did though! I want to download some podcasts or something to listen to to keep my mind off of running {while I run}- it might work! 

Any podcast suggestions for me?

 Because ESPN seems to be on the TV there all the time, and if you know me, you know that's not gonna hold my attention long. 

Oh, and still haven't figured out how to get each blog's "labels" to appear below it. Grr! Feel free to send me a suggestion!

&& Hump Day's over! Enjoy the downhill part of the week! :)

Blog help!

Hey guys! I'm having a little difficulty & I'm just wondering if any of y'all know anything about this.....I wanted to add each blog's label at the bottom of each blog. & I clicked the little check mark to show them & they won't show! Anyone know anything about this & wanna help me out?? :) I'd sure appreciate it!!

Dear 16 Year Old Me,

This video is being passed around Facebook and it's so great, I can't not share it!

It really does make you think! And it makes me think that I really need to find a sunless tanner that isn't horrible and doesn't break the bank!

What sunless tanning suggestions do you have?

DigiTwirl

I have definitely been MIA in the blog world lately, but trust me, it's not because I haven't had something to say! I started my 2 internships lately & have officially said GOODBYE to summer! More on that later...Right now, I have to finish something that's due today for our first internship class. Yep, I'll be in class for FIVE hours today, and other days this summer. I'm just hoping it doesn't interfere with my direct client hours (that I need!)....

Until I have time to really catch up with you, I wanted to share with you a website I found yesterday, reading I'm an Organizing Junkie's blog. It's DigiTwirl's website and it's "The weekly web show that makes tech work for you." Sounds iffy, but I'm not gonna lie....I spent time yesterday watching all of her videos. There's some pretty good stuff on there so I thought I would share! They are three minute videos to "solve your modern day headaches." t's definitely worth checking out, especially if you're like me and like things organized and like to use technology to help whenever possible! 

Happy Hump Day!!

Things I Will Not Miss Saying....{My Life as an RD}

It's almost been a month since I was a Resident Director at Lenoir-Rhyne. I miss a lot of things about the job, and the school. I loved my staff(s), my co-workers, my boss(es) and I even loved my building {that will luckily be renovated this summer} even though it's an oldie goldie. But nights like tonight, when I can take a shower and lay in bed and read a book in peace and quiet makes me reminisce on some of the funny {and some not-so-funny} things I've had to say over the last two years that I will not miss as much. ;) I've compiled a list {that may or may not be ongoing} for your entertainment.

Things I am NOT going to miss saying now that I'm no longer a Resident Director:

• Tripp, quit blowing that horn! {I don't know why that's the 1st thing that came to my mind.}
• Don't throw trash out of your windows.
• Whoever's tossing water balloons out onto oncoming traffic, stop. 
• Don't be 'that guy.'
• Oh, stuff was stolen out of your room? Well then you probably shouldn't have left your door unlocked.
• Lenoir-Rhyne doesn't make the alcohol drinking age 21, so don't blame Lenoir-Rhyne.
• Just because Lenoir-Rhyne is a private school, doesn't mean it can make its own rules and legalize smoking marijuana.
• Here's some bug spray.
• If I have to come back again tonight, I'm gonna be pissed.
• What are they DOING up there?!
• The faucet drips. It can't be fixed. Consider it a noise to soothe you to sleep.
• I can hear the person above me peeing. 
• Are you kidding me? {In more than one reference}
• Jacob, security does not want a copy of your transcript.
• There's a flood on first upper. {Had to say that one a couple times too.}
• No, I don't want to hang out. It's 3:30 in the morning. I want to sleep! 
• Someone burnt Easy Mac and we had to evacuate the building.
• Do you smell smoke?
• You know I can see you hiding behind that door.
• You know I can see you hiding behind your closet curtain.
• You know you can't have all these animals in here.
• Whose baby do I hear crying?
• I know you wrote it in sidewalk chalk, but that's offensive.
• Yes, I do think you are a chain smoker.
• No, we can't have alcohol at our educational programs. Or our social programs.
• Seriously, that guy gives me the creeps.
• If you could play football for USC, then what are you doing here? Yeah, that's what I thought.
• No, you can't have my number. 
• Yes, my boyfriend is white. Why?
• Seriously, twice in one weekend? 
• I'm sorry the machine took your dollar. Find a partner and I'm turning my head for 5 seconds. If you haven't shaken the chips out of the machine by then, then you're out a dollar. Or you can go to the business office during business hours tomorrow.
• No, you can't take the furniture from the lobby to your room.

I am sure there are more but still....that's a good bit to start the list off!! My residents were entertaining to say the least & definitely kept me on my toes! What an experience it was to be able to be an RD. :) Would recommend the job to everyone but wouldn't recommend the job to just anyone, if you know what I mean! After reading that list, you may be surprised to hear that I really will miss being an RD.

200 lbs

So, last week I hit up the gym 3 times! {This may not be a big deal to you- but it is to me. I haven't had time to think about going to a gym this past semester, let along actually GOING. So this is an accomplishment for me.} The first time I went I ran a mile straight! {I don't know that I could do that again, lol, but some magic power took over me and I was able to do it.} & I've been doing cardio & weights all three days. I thought, SURELY I've lost ONE pound by doing this, so, let me check the scale out...seeing one pound lost will motivate me more than seeing no pounds lost. 

Well, to my amazement, and horror, I stepped on the scale that I found in one of the boxes I unpacked last week. I put it in my room {on carpet- which MUST be the culprit} and it showed this:

Scared me half to death!!!!!!!!!

Note to readers: I do NOT weight 200 lbs! It was weighing myself on carpet that was the culprit {I was right} but if that doesn't scare you to the gym, I don't know what will!! I am way too short {5'1" on a good day} to gain one more pound. And plus, I have a LOT of jeans and pants I can wear if I drop a size or two! So that's my motivation. The number's really not important to me, at all, but if the number drops, I know my pant size will too. :)

Now that I know it's a sick sick joke, I find it funny enough of a story to share. :) 

Happy Memorial Day peoples!

"Graduation!"

I was going to do you a whole life update via bullet points...but this turned into a post-pictures-from-graduation-and-go-to-bed kind of post, so, stay tuned for more info later! ;)

So anyways, I GRADUATED "WALKED" Thursday night! I won't actually get my diploma until August when I finish my internship hours, but, here's a couple pictures from "the hooding ceremony."

Lenoir-Rhyne Counseling Graduates

Leah & Cynthia, two amazing inspirations of classmates!

"Being Hooded"

my love

"The Girl RDs" ~ My friends, Tori & Maria... Love them! 

Brother Bear

Pat & Me with Mom

A Proud Momaw!

Momma ♥

"Love & support brings happiness through all"

I spent the week leading up to "graduation," as I'll call it, packing my life up, taking 50 trips to Lincolnton & back, and trying to organize closing down a building of 150 freshmen as quickly as possible. Luckily, I had 6 great RAs who did a good job at helping me ensure that everything ran as smoothly as possible, making my job easier in the end once everyone had went home.

I found out I had to be out of my apartment two weeks earlier than I thought I had to be, two weeks before I had to be out. So, with classes ending, crap due, and all the closing stuff needed to be done, on top of still internship-searching and everything else life brings at the last minute, I had to pack up & move!! I was planning on doing all of that once everything was done & I had a moment to breathe. But looking back, I'm glad it all happened the way it did. {That's a whole other post for a later day.}

But, the night before graduation I just got really SAD. Sad mostly because I wanted a lot of things done that weren't done, and I had taken SO many trips to Lincolnton and back, along with Mom, Momaw, and Alex, and there was still SO much to do. {I seriously had way too much stuff.} My original graduation-day plans were to sleep in {a little}, do a couple things {including get a pedicure}, & then get ready early so I wasn't rushed and got to a graduation banquet we had beforehand ON TIME {for once}.

Oh! Here's some pics from that too :) ::

Me with the cute couple, Jonathan {"the boy RD"} & Melissa

My date to the banquet, my awesome friend Jodi, & her 4 kids!!!!!! Hot Momma Alert!! Haha

I love this girl! My sistah-friend, Jodi! What a blessing she is!

But do you think my graduation day plans were fulfilled? UM, ABSOLUTELY NOT. But it's okay. I was smart & showered early. I have an AMAZING grandmother that came that morning to help me pack & load the car(s) {again}. My necklace waited until the END of the night to break & I even got to take Momaw to lunch & had enough time to run to the nail salon & get my toes & nails painted. {Had to save the pedi for another day!} At the end of the day I felt BLESSED. It was a super long day but it was one I will remember! I am so thankful for the loved ones of mine that were able to come and know that the ones that couldn't make it are proud of me! Yep, that pretty much sums it up....I was thankful & blessed!!

Now, onto securing that internship....

The Wicker Basket

Alex sent me this in an email & I thought I would share it with you. 

The story is told of an old man who lived on a farm in the mountains of eastern  Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning, Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading from his old worn-out Bible.  His grandson who wanted to be just like him tried to imitate him in any way he could. 

One day  the grandson asked, 'Papa, I try to read the Bible just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close  the book. What good does reading the Bible do?'

The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and said, 'Take this old wicker coal basket down to the river and bring back a basket of water.'

The boy did as he was told, even though all the water leaked out before he could  get back to the house.

The grandfather laughed and said, 'You will have to move a little faster next time,' and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again.

This time the boy ran faster, but again the old wicker basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was 'impossible to carry water in a basket,' and he went
to get a bucket instead.

The old man said, 'I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You can do this. You're just not trying hard enough,' and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got far at all. The boy scooped the water and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, 'See Papa, it's useless!'

'So you think it is useless?' the old man said.  'Look at the basket.'

The boy looked at the basket and for the first time he realized that the basket looked different.
Instead of a dirty old wicker coal basket, it was clean.

'Son, that's what happens when you read the Bible. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, it will change you from  the inside out.'

Moral of the wicker basket story:
Take time to read a portion of God's word each day;
it will affect you for good even if you don't retain a word.

Thought for Today: 
I really like this story because I don't retain things too well anymore...age may have something to do with it but I figure my brain  just gets overloaded! God isn't concerned about my brain anyway; He's more concerned about my heart.

Heaven Is For Real

So, I just got done reading Heaven Is For Real by Todd Burpo with Lynn Vincent. I'm really bad at retelling stories, and the back of the book sold me on reading it anyways, so I'll let it tell you what the book's about:

When Colton Burpo made it through an emergency appendectomy, his family was overjoyed at his miraculous survival. What they weren’t expecting, though, was the story that emerged in the months that followed—a story as beautiful as it was extraordinary, detailing their little boy’s trip to heaven and back.

Colton, not yet four years old, told his parents he left his body during the surgery—and authenticated that claim by describing exactly what his parents were doing in another part of the hospital while he was being operated on. He talked of visiting heaven and relayed stories told him by people he met there whom he had never met in life, sharing events that happened even before he was born. He also astonished his parents with descriptions and obscure details about heaven that matched the Bible exactly, though he had not yet learned to read.

With disarming innocence and the plainspoken boldness of a child, Colton tells of meeting long-departed family members. He describes Jesus, the angels, how “really, really big” God is, and how much God loves us. Retold by his father, but using Colton’s uniquely simple words…Heaven is for Real will forever change the way you think of eternity, offering the chance to see, and believe, like a child.

I don't read for pleasure much but I've heard too many good things about this book for me to pass it up when I found it on Mawmaw's kitchen table.  I read it in two sittings but if given a little longer, and not have had started at 12:30 AM like I did during sitting #1, then I probably could have read the entire thing in one sitting. Thank God the boys being loud in the lobby went away so I could read in peace and quiet! :)

Seriously, this book didn't make me realize Heaven was real. But it just confirmed what I already knew & made me think of things I wouldn't have ever thought of. Like who I'd meet in Heaven, and what I'd learn.

One thing I was reminded of while reading it was that I, along with anyone else trying to get to Heaven, need faith like a child. I need to think of things matter-of-a-factly, without a shadow of a doubt, KNOWING all I've learned, read, and been taught. We all do!

We need faith without proof.
We need to believe without seeing!

This doesn't happen often, but tonight, while finishing this book, I really cried happy tears, just thinking, "This is so awesome!" I think if I had a child that had visited Heaven, I'd be jealous of that child because I'd want to know everything they know! I'd want to see everything they had seen! If I'd just be patient, one day, I'll get to experience Heaven myself. But until then, I wonder all kinds of things and anticipate the day when I can witness all the things I've heard or read about, as well as the surprises Heaven has to offer...because you know Heaven has surprises. :)

If you don't read this book, you are crazy.

The End. :)