Secrets of a Newlywed

Disclaimer: I surely have my own "secrets of a newlywed," haha, but this is not where I'm going. I'm sorry to disappoint if you've clicked a link and headed to read all my juicy newlywed secrets. ;) But don't go away! Keep reading, it'll do ya some good! ;)

I've stumbled upon a great (blog) read for you newlyweds, newlyweds-to-be, or marriage "pros" who aren't too big-headed to accept some possible tips or new ways of thinking. It's a Christian blog series (don't pre-judge!) on things you may or may not have thought about, things you think are issues only you and your new spouse are having, or things you're sure are things that need to be corrected in your relationship.

Secrets of a Newlyed by Life Blessons 

I love that I have time off to find new blogs to read. For whatever reason, I much prefer to read blogs than books. I think it has something to do with links within blogs. If you're interested in a subject, it'll lead you to what originally sparked the topic, or to another post, which will in turn to the same. I really could get lost in blogs for hours if I don't watch it. But I found this series really interesting, informative, and (actually) entertaining. She speaks of some taboo things (such as sex- ahhh!) that we in the Christian community don't openly discuss as much. More power to her!

But I just thought I'd share this tidbit today with "all you" blog readers of mine in case this sparks some of your interest & you want to click on over to the list of articles and read for yourself. :)

♥,
Nicole

Inspiration

I read this and thought this would be a GREAT Bible passage to place in my future counseling office as a reminder to what I believe I am called to do!

The Year of the LORD’s Favor

 ¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
   because the LORD has anointed me
   to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
   to proclaim freedom for the captives
   and release from darkness for the prisoners,
² to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
   and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
 ³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
   instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
   instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
   instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
   a planting of the LORD
   for the display of his splendor.

{Isaiah 61:1-3}

Goodbye January

I changed my calendar over to February today! I will missing seeing this picture (below) every day, making me smile. Click the picture if it's too small for your liking, but, it says:

She welcomes the years

with arms open wide

and loves life with the

kind of passion

that comes

straight from God.

I love my wall calendar! I always find the best, most cutest, inspirational calendars at Christian book stores! And *as always* ... on sale. :)

Digging in the Word!

I am loving doing my morning devotions! I've learned if I can shower & {here's the key:} dry my hair at night, then I have made time in the mornings to spend some time in the Word. It is making such a positive difference in my day! They don't take a lot of time and are actually really enlightening! What probably takes the most time is sharing what I have learned on in my Facebook group. {Someone let me know if those links don't work please!} It's just too good of information not to share! It especially drives me to share when I get comments, etc. of people telling me they've read it & enjoyed it. It's my way I've found to share the Word of God...so I guess that makes getting up at the crack of dawn worth it! :)

Here is today's verses. I have a parallel Bible and it has The Message and the NIV versions in it. I like reading both and comparing them. Here below I have combined the two to form the verses that speak to my heart the most.

"Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
or whine, Israel, saying
'God has lost track of me.
He doesn't care what happens to me'?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?

God doesn't come & go. God lasts.

He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
He knows everything, inside & out. [The MSG]
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired & weary
and young men stumble & fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." [NIV]

-Isaiah 40:27-31

I have also really been enjoying reading Proverbs 31 Ministries' Facebook postings and  the devotions they post on their website. I get their daily texts/devotions on my phone & they are ALL SO GOOD! I am actually in love with their whole website and look forward to purchasing and reading Made to Crave. I can't wait to share more about that with you later! :)

Everything rides on hope now....

I'm not trying to get too personal, but tonight was a really really really bad night for me. I cried out of anger. I cried out of pain. I just got plain mad. I cussed. I got quiet. I just sat. I stared into the deep dark hole that I was in. I didn't want to move. Or drive. {Unlucky for me I still wanted to eat. I hadn't had supper yet and it was getting late. I wish I was one of those girls that when they got upset, they didn't eat. I'll never be one of those girls.} I complained...on and on and on. I think I listed everything NOT going right in my life, not going to my plan. Around 7:45pm I left for the library to study for tomorrow's bigger-than-ever test, and three hours later, I had never made it in the library, and I was headed home to eat McDonald's and stand in a very hot shower. {Please note studying had not occurred yet, and again, bigger-than-ever test tomorrow.}

Side note: Lord, thank you for Alex. During all of those things I listed above he was there, sitting on the other side of the phone, not knowing what to say, but trying really hard (I think, or at least I will give him credit for). He knew he was as helpless as I was/am in these situations, so he just sat, and listened. Then the Lord provided him with something really awesome to say, so, thanks God, and thank you Alex.

It was one of THOSE nights. You know what I mean. We all have them.

I guess I should have known it was coming, but I didn't see it coming, so tonight hit me like a ton of bricks. It hit hard and it hurt. I still don't have any answers. I still can't control anything or anyone in my life.

All I can do is PRAY and HOPE. That's it. Literally. Alex and I tried tonight to think, of anything, possibly anything that could be done. We have nothing. Absolutely nothing. Jesus Christ is literally all I have. All that's forever. All that's unconditional. He is the reason for the unexplainable hope in my heart tonight, because the Lord knows that if I was looking for it tonight, it was out of sight.

Please know that I'm not being selfish. Of course I'd like to know when I'm going to get married, heck or when I'll be engaged, or where I'll be working in August, IF I'll be working in August. I wish I knew what the future held, but I don't. There's no way for me to know. But that's not what I wanted tonight. Tonight I wanted RIGHT. I wanted people to make good choices. I wanted the right things to be said and for things to go the way the SHOULD go, not the way necessarily that *I* want them. {However, it just so happens that I want what's right}. Is that so much to ask? I don't think so. But apparently it is, right now anyways.

Things, vices, situations, and other people effect people's lives so much to the point that they're in a season of their life where doing what's right isn't what's top priority. Don't get me started on what their priority is... just know, it isn't what's "right."

I wonder, how long will God make me endure this? What's his reasoning for it? Maybe it's to bring me closer to Him. Maybe it'll go on forever. Maybe it's meant to go on forever. So what then? Will I be this sad and upset forever? God says no. I trust that He'll provide me the strength, people, love, and resources to get through this time, no matter how long it lasts.

I seriously don't know how anyone gets through anything without God.

This song popped into my head tonight and God's eyes crossed as I sang it in the shower. It really was my heart song tonight {Happy Feet reference}. Oh, how I love it...


This is one of my favorite songs of all time. I love this version compared to the actual music video's version, which is why I'm showing this version instead. If you haven't heard it, go ahead and press play...

I am going to bed less sad, loved by and very thankful for my boyfriend, more hopeful, and faithful that God will get me through my test tomorrow. There's no way it's not God lifting my spirits, no way in the world.

Crazy Love: Chapter 1: Stop Praying

"What if I said, 'Stop praying'? What if I told you to stop talking at God for a while, but instead to take a long, hard look at Him before you speak another word? Solomon warned us not to rush into God's presence with words. That's what fools do. And often, that's what we do."

"We are slow to listen, quick to speak, and quick to become angry." ... {wait, that's not how it goes!}

"Have you ever thought about how diverse and creative God is?" and then Francis Chan goes on to talk about crazy facts such as: a caterpillar's head has 228 separate and distinct muscles, the average elm tree has 6 million leaves on it, and spiders have oily feet to keep them from getting stuck in their own webs. We may or may not know these crazy facts...but if we did already know about them, have we ever marveled at them?

"Whatever God's reason for such diversity, creativity, and sophistication in the universe, on earth, and in our own bodies, the point of it all is His glory. God's art speaks of Himself, reflecting who He is and what He is like."

"I sometimes struggle with how to properly respond to God's magnitude in a world-bent on ignoring or merely tolerating Him. But know this: God will not be tolerated. He instructs us to worship and fear Him. "

"There is an epidemic of spiritual amnesia going around, and none of us is immune. No matter how fascinating the details we learn about God's creation, no matter how many pictures we see of His galaxies, and no matter how many sunsets we watch, we still forget. - Most of us know that we are supposed to read our Bibles and pray so that we can get to know Him better; that we are supposed to worship Him with our lives. But actually living it out is challenging."

"It may sound "un-Christian" to say that on some mornings I don't feel like loving God, or I just forget to. But I do. In our world, where hundreds of things distract us from God, we have to intentionally and consistently remind ourselves of Him."

"We need [reminders] about God's goodness. We are programmed to focus on what we don't have, bombarded multiple times throughout the day with what we need to buy that will make us feel happier or sexier or more at peace. This dissatisfaction transfers over to our thinking about God. We forget that we already have everything we need in Him."

"The preposterous part about our doing this to God is that He already has a name, an identity. We don't get to decide who God is. 'God said to Moses, "I am who I am" (Ex. 3:14). We don't change that."

To say that God is holy is to say that He is set apart, distinct from us. And because of this set apart-ness, there is no way we can ever fathom all of who He is. He is perfectly set apart, with nothing and no one to compare Him to. That is what it means to be "holy."

Isn't it a comfort to worship a God we cannot exaggerate?

God exists outside of time, and since we are within time, there is no way we will ever totally grasp that concept. - Not being able to fully understand God is frustrating, but it is ridiculous for us to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending. What a stunted, insignificant god that would be! God is so much bigger than our time-encased, air/food/sleep-dependent lives.

God is all-knowing. Isn't that an intimidating thought?
Each of us, to some degree, fool our friends and family about who we really are. But it's impossible to do that with God. He knows who we are and what we're about. When I grow weary of trying to be faithful to Him and want a break, it doesn't come as a surprise to God.

It is sobering to realize that this is the same God who is holy and eternal, the Maker of the billions of galaxies and thousands of tree species in the rainforest. This is the same God that takes the time to know all the little details about each of us. He does not have to know us so well, but He chooses to.

God is all-powerful. Colossians 1:16 tells us that everything was created by God and for God.
Don't we live instead as though God created for us, to do our bidding, to bless us, and to take care of our loved ones?

Psalm 115:3 reveals, "Our God is in heaven: he does whatever pleases Him." Yet we keep on questioning Him. The answer to each one of our questions is simply this: because He's God. He has more of a right to ask us why so many people are starving. 

Can you worship a God who isn't obligated to explain His actions to you? Could it be your arrogance that makes you think God owes you an explanation?

God is fair and just. God is the only Being who is good, and the standards are set by Him. Because God hates sin, He has to punish those guilty of sin. Maybe that's not an appealing standard. But to put it bluntly, when you get your own universe, you can make your own standards.

When we disagree, let's not assume it's His reasoning that needs correction.

{Click here to read the rest of my Crazy Love notes!}

Crazy Love: Preface

"To just read the Bible, attend church, and avoid "big" sins--is this passionate, wholehearted love for God?"
-François Fénelon, The Seeking Heart


I love this thought: We blame "the American church" for the way it "behaves" today without acknowledging that we are a PART of this "church" and are partly to blame!


It says this book is for those who want more Jesus, who are bored with American Christianity offers, who doesn't want to plateau, and for those who would rather die before their convictions do. What a bold statement! {I love it!}

"We need to stop giving people excuses not to believe in God. You've probably heard the expression "I believe in God, just not organized religion." I don't think people would say that if the church truly lived like we are called to live. The expression would change to "I can't deny what the church does, but I don't believe in their God." At least then they'd address their rejection of God rather than use the church as a scapegoat."

"The core problem isn't the fact that we're lukewarm, halfhearted, or stagnant Christians. The crux of it all is why we are this way, and it is because we have an inaccurate view of God. We see Him as a benevolent Being who is satisfied when people manage to fit Him into their lives in some small way. We forget that God never had an identity crisis. He knows that's He's great and deserves to be the center of our lives.  Jesus came humbly as a servant, but He never begs us to give Him some small part of ourselves. He commands everything from His followers."

"Come with me on this journey. I don't promise it will be painless. Change, as we all know, is uncomfortable. It is all up to you to respond to what you read. But you will have a choice: to adjust how you live daily or to stay the same."

{Click here to read the rest of my Crazy Love notes!}

Fam(ILY)

Family

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,

'Oh excuse me please' was my reply.

He said, 'Please excuse me too;

I wasn't watching for you.'

We were very polite, this stranger and I.

We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,

How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking an evening meal,

My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.

'Move out of the way,' I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.

I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,

God's still small voice came to me and said,

'While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,

But the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go look on the kitchen floor,

You'll find some flowers there by the door...

Those are the flowers he brought for you.

He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,

You never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.'

By this time, I felt very small,

And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;

'Wake up, little one, wake up,' I said.

'Are these the flowers you picked for me?'

He smiled, 'I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.

I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue.'

I said, 'Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;

I shouldn't have yelled at you that way.'

He said, 'Oh, Mom, that's okay.

I love you anyway.'

I said, 'Son I love you too,

And I do like the flowers, especially the blue.'

|author unknown|
 

 I read this tonight on someone else's blog and it spoke to my heart. No, I don't have children yet, but I do see parents speaking to their children in this way in times of frustration- and I too am guilty of treating some that I love {and who love me the most} the worst at times. It's something that convicts my heart and I pray about often. I try to catch myself but often times I find it easy to just lash out because I know I am unconditionally loved. 


Which also got me to think...


Does that mean we're abusing that unconditional love? Or are we taking it for granted? Or taking advantage of it? Does everyone do this- or is it just a couple of us horrible ones? 


I feel like at times, as Christians, we also do this. We take our Father's unconditional love for granted, knowing that He loves us no matter how harsh we are, no matter what stupid things we do, no matter what we say. He is there to forgive us if we genuinely ask for it. I appreciate this, and realize how often I might take His love for granted. Forgive me Father, because I certainly don't want to come across this way- I don't want to BE this way. I want to act like I love you, because I love you. I want to do what makes you happy, because I love you. I simply want to live as if I love you. Thank you, Lord, for your unconditional love, and forgive me for my selfishness. 

I'll end tonight's blog by getting back to family...

Here are some are my favorite quotes about family. Enjoy! :)

"You don't choose your family.  They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."
{Desmond Tutu}

"To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there."
{Barbara Bush}

"Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family."

{Anthony Brandt}

“One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.”

“A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life.”

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”
{Theodore Hesburgh}

“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.”

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.”
{Anne Frank}

“Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.”
{Matt Groening}

"Treat your family like friends and your friends like family."      

Wise Children - Part 1

"Logan, the Sky Angel Cowboy" :

I hope you took the time to watch {slash listen to} this video. This boy is so wise at such a young age! I never would have thought to compare God sacrificing His {only} son to losing someone/thing super close to you- and that could be a grandparent, a parent, a brother or sister, a friend, or even a pet. It makes perfect sense. This was such a great video and message and I wanted to be sure to share it with you. I am sure the Lord has great things in store for Logan, but if something {God forbid} happened to Logan today, I'm sure he would be honored to know that his story, his message has taught and blessed others who may {or even may not} be going through a tremendously difficult time in their life. God bless you, Logan!

Food for thought: Forgiveness

Then Peter came up to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I'll tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." -Matthew 18:21-22

Forgiveness has really been a key issue in my life lately. I go back to this verse when I am feeling defeated by others, contemplating forgiveness. I am human! I sin! I sometimes have to THINK about forgiving people, wondering if they are worthy of my forgiveness, time, and emotion. I have to remember that the exact wording of this verse is very important: I must forgive my brother (everyone) when they sin against me. Sometimes I get so bogged down because "people" aren't doing the right thing. I get mad when others make stupid choices, causing grief for those closest to them, myself included at times. I take it all personally. I've even been known to hold a grudge or two in my time {believe it or not, HA!} My thought process is flawed because simply: I am human. However, I can not use my "humanness" as justification for continuing to live in sin. I can and should only forgive those that have sinned against me. If others are sinning against others or against God, I need to pray for them. I should not take it personally or hold a grudge. If I do, then *I* am the one needing forgiveness! They have not sinned against me, therefore, forgiveness from me is not needed. {Gosh I hope my rambling is making sense.}

This passage really opened my eyes...

1 John:
1:5: This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with Him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and His word has no place in our lives.

2:1: My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him.

This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

That pretty much sums it up for me. One thing I can say for myself is {as you can also see above} I have never claimed to be perfect. I will shout it from the rooftops that I am NOT perfect! I am far from it actually and like everyone else, have my good days and have my bad days. Lucky for me, I am saved by the love and grace of Jesus Christ. The passage above reminds me that because I am a Christian, and have accepted Christ as my Savior, then when I do have my "bad days," my heavenly Father goes to bat for me. He speaks to HIS father on MY behalf, asking that I be forgiven. What an amazing thought! What an amazing thing! What an amazing Savior I have!

Forgiving one another is the hardest thing to do and the most beneficial. As God's chosen people we are to forgive all {did you hear that? ALL} grievances we have between one another because of the example set forth to us by Christ.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. -Colossians 3:12-14

and lastly....

And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your failings and shortcomings. -Mark 11:25-26, Amplified

This is why it is SO important and beneficial for us to forgive. Jesus can not do us that mighty favor by going to bat for us when we have our bad days if we have hate in our hearts, if we are holding grudges, if we are choosing to not forgive someone, for anything, no matter what. As 1st John says, if we are living in Him, we must walk as Jesus did (forgivingly). I personally do not want to sacrifice MY forgiveness, at the cost of living a life full of hate. Doesn't make sense at all to me why anyone would.

If you are choosing to hold a grudge, not forgiving someone, for anything, reconsider. The price is far too high and not even close to worth it, especially when you think about how trivial some of your grievances are. Let your light shine! Do not choose to be held captive in the darkness for another minute.

It's never too late
to turn everything around.

Yet I will rejoice...

I never {never say never} usually don't use my blog for venting personal emotions; however, tonight's different. I don't know why, but I feel like blogging will somehow be therapeutic for me. So, read this, or don't...I don't care today. 

That is how I started this super long venting blog, before I was smacked in the face with my most recent post on ten minutes to get you through your day.  The whole point of it really was,

"No matter what, yet I will rejoice in the Lord!"

The devotion referred to Habakkuk 3:17-18, which says...

"Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation."

I like to think of it as...

though I'm having a bad hair day

though my makeup looks like crap

though I have tons of school loans to pay off

though I don't make a lot of money

though I have way too much school work to do for the summertime

though people I love are fighting

though friends and children of my friends are dying

though I am no longer friends with those who I used to be the closest with

though none of my best girlfriends live anywhere near me

though I still have a long way to go before I graduate and can start a new life

though I found an earwig on my pillow!!

though I feel defeated

though I feel jealous

though I feel discontent

though I feel broken...

yet I will rejoice in the LORD;

I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

I really needed that reality check. I have it good. I need to watch Jessica's Daily Affirmation again. And since I can't sleep, and don't feel like beginning reading for another psychopathology quiz right now at 1:30 AM, I think I'll start a new {probably annoying to you} blog listing things I am thankful for. That ought to put things into perspective for me. Either way, I've gotta get out of this rut the Devil worked on me. I won't let him defeat me! I am kind of excited though, because that just means the Lord has something in store for me, and the Devil is trying to defeat me beforehand... I will keep my eyes and heart open, ready to receive His blessings!  Stay tuned!

Question of the Day:

If someone were to convict you of being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to find you guilty???

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

This morning in Sunday School, we were blessed with a really good lesson.

The lesson was about what you consider rich, and always wanting more, even though there are people who live on FAR FAR FAR less and there will always be someone that has MORE than you, and what the Bible describes as being truly rich. But that's not what I'm blogging about tonight.

In discussion after our video we watched, one of us mentioned how we, as humans, think that we should treat people how they treat us. An eye for an eye. If someone's mean to us, be mean back. If someone's nice to us, be nice back. You get the jist....

But, not as humans, but as Christians, we should NOT give an eye for an eye. As Gandhi said,

" An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

Matthew 7:12 says, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you." 

It doesn't say do to others what they do to you. It is saying that we should treat people the way we WANT to be treated, no matter HOW they treat us! 

I was personally convicted by this statement this morning. I am definitely guilty of this. I try my hardest to be nice to everyone, at first. If someone is rude to me, or does something against me, I'll give them another chance. I'll turn the other cheek. However, after a while, if it continues, I am quick to write someone off. This does did not bother me because I only want to surround myself with those who lift me higher. I do not want to continually bother myself with those who are rude to me, etc. I do not consider it a loss, but my world a better place.

How UN-Christian of me is that?!?! It is probably the rudest people, or people that are the most rude to me, that I should be being an example to the most. Now, let me say, that I do not approve of being a doormat. I am simply saying to not give up on people. I am saying that instead of turning around and walking the other way, avoiding certain someones, or holding anger in yourself... say hello! Give a compliment! Ask how they're doing! It's the least you could do, and maybe all that's necessary. Nothing will be solved if you have a "let's see who can be the rudest the longest" competition. 

My prayer for myself and for everyone else is that we will quit holding grudges, quit being rude to one another on purpose, and learn to let things go. People who say they "don't like drama" are usually the ones who are surrounded by drama the most. FYI: there is one common denominator in all your failed friendships, in all your "dramaful" relationships. And that is YOU! Figure out why, and work to fix it! {and I am saying this to myself as well, don't you worry....} 

After having this conversation in Sunday School this morning, I definitely became aware and convicted, and have already tried working on it! It'll be a life-long effort, but one that's worth it! Life is too short and you weren't meant to hold on to that petty anger anyways. Be free! Free yourself!

Dream Journal Entry #3

Journaling dreams for class...

Okay, so I figured something out. I might have said earlier that I never have good dreams. Well, I'm not retracting my statement or anything, but I definitely have learned that I do have non-nightmares from time to time. And, I've slacked a little. I've learned that if I wake up from a non-nightmare dream, I'll just {probably check my phone, lol, and then} just go back to sleep. But with a nightmare, I wake up, don't want to go back to sleep, so have been getting up and journaling blogging. Well, I definitely slept in this morning but I'll attempt to blog about my two dreams I remember having this morning.

Dream #1: 
I wore this really long purple dress I have to a country-style bar with some friends of mine.

{To be honest, I would never really wear that dress to any bar, and I don't really go to bars.}

I was with an old friend of mine, Ashleigh, and she had just started dating this boy. And for SOME reason she was really afraid that this scrapbook that she had made would make him not want to date her. Only, it was a scrapbook of middle and high school years, and we have been graduated for 5 years now, and they had just started dating, sooo...I was confused. As we got ready to go to the bar I was defending her, telling the guy that whatever was in there, was from a long time ago, and is in the past. That's the end of that story.

Now, I was at the bar with the friends, and then I noticed that I had started talking to someone in the bar and turned around and all my friends were gone. I went looking for them in this room that had some pool tables in it, and there were probably three girls from high school that I honestly just don't like. So I did a quick glance over of the room, pretended I didn't see the girls, and left. I remember being kind of glad that all my friends were gone and I could just talk to this person. I honestly don't even remember if it was a boy or a girl, so I definitely couldn't tell you what their face looked like, or who they were!

Ask me how I got home....because I have NO idea. I think I woke up at this point and went back to sleep to dream this dream:

Dream #2:
Pretty much, I don't know what happened beforehand, but me and all my Christian friends were in a movie theater-like place, only it had a somewhat tall stage at the front. {I guess you could still call that a theater?} We all had a Bible in our hands and there was a group of guys at the front, on stage, hollering at us, telling us what we were going to do. {It reminded me a lot of the "bad guys" from The Book of Eli.} We were supposed to, row by row, line up and walk towards the stage. We weren't allowed to get on stage so we were just supposed to walk in front of the stage, one by one, and throw our Bibles into this pit of fire on stage. None of us wanted to do it, but we all did it. We all seemed convinced that the guy up front would let us live if we threw our Bibles into the fires.

{Side note: I can hear you saying now, "You gave in to the Devil and sacrificed your Bible instead of defending the Lord and dying for him" or something of the sort. In actuality, I never felt like that in my dream, but I thought that myself as I typed this up. HOWEVER, I remember thinking in my dream, "It's okay because I have at least four more Bibles at home."}

The person had told us to bring our favorite Bible to this place, and that if we wouldn't, he would find us and kill us. I remember bringing this Bible that Alex got me in June 2008 because it is my favorite. {I only know it was June because he wrote it on the first page.} And then I remember crying my eyes out after I threw it up onto stage because it was a Bible that Alex gave me. It had more sentimental value to me than the others.

I don't really know what happened afterward, but I woke up and didn't want to go back to sleep after that. {Good thing because it was 12:15pm and I have things to do today!} But man, I was not the brightest person ever in my dream! Why didn't I just bring another Bible and say it was my favorite? Why did I go at all? Why did I not stand up for what I believed in? What did I think I was going to do with my life once the men on stage let me have it?

Hmm...Odd dream. Pretty scary to me. :/

Click here to read more of my dream journal for class.

Layla Grace

A Facebook friend of mine posted a link to a blog a couple weeks ago. Out of sheer curiosity I clicked the link and became obsessed!

Meet Layla Grace....

You can find more info on Layla at http://laylagrace.org/ but, I feel I must share this story with you.

Layla, this precious little girl was described as a great eater, great sleeper, and a sweet little cuddle monkey who had an advanced vocabulary for her age. Her mother writes that she had a great 15 month checkup but at around 16 months Layla's sleeping and eating habits changed and she became more irritable. Time passed. Her parents thought they had a picky eater on their hands. A ear infection was said to be the blame for a swollen eye Layla woke up one morning with, and her hard and distended belly was treated with medication for constipation. After another weekend of no dirty diapers, she was referred to a GI specialist who ran some tests.

Layla has a massive cancerous tumor (Stage 4 Neuroblastoma) in her abdomen. It extends from above her left kidney, around her side, over her belly and wraps around her aorta. In addition, the cancer is in her bone marrow. Sweet little Layla went from normal happy and healthy to lethargic, in pain, and skin and bones in a matter of a week and a half.

Frequent updates on Layla’s status can be found at http://www.twitter.com/laylagrace.

The Marsh Family can be reached at: fightforlayla@gmail.com.

Now, I do not share this story with you to depress you. I do not share this story with you to scare all the new mothers out there who happen to be reading this blog. If you have some spare time, take the time to read the blog Layla's mother is writing. Of course she is not choosing to blog over spending her dying daughter's last moments with her. Layla sleeps a lot and her mother is finding a way to pass the time, vent, express her emotions, and update the CRAZY amount of people and celebrities who have been following Layla's story. Sometimes I think posting information that is too personal on Facebook is at times inappropriate, but I recently learned that sometimes Facebook, email, blogs, and Twitter can sometimes be the best way of communicating with a large group of people. Just imagine if Layla's mother had to personally update each person on Layla's condition each time she was asked. Thank you, Lord, for technology! And I know that blogging really at times is a form of venting. It's free therapy! (if it's working!)

Yesterday Layla's mother wrote this:

My relationship with God has grown so much the past few months. That is all Layla’s doing. I’m so grateful that I was blessed with this angel on earth. She has taught me patience, faith, strength, grace and love. She has continued to amaze me over and over again.

 And that is why I am sharing this story with you. This is probably one of a family's worst nightmare stories. I could see this emotionally scarring a person, a mother, for life. I could see this depressing her beyond belief.  I could see this causing so much anger and hatred for God in her heart that she never turns back to Him again. I can see how some would say "God is not answering her prayers" and "God is letting this innocent little girl die." But WOW! This mother is taking one of the worst things a mother would ever have to face, and is letting it bring her CLOSER to God!

She also posted this verse yesterday:

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

-2 Corninthians 4:7-12, 16-18

On February 28th, her mother wrote:

Still, we kept praying expecting a miracle. Never give up hope, that’s our motto. God doesn’t bring the bad, he brings the good. But we knew in the back of our minds that it might be part of God’s plan for her to return home to Him. It’s not too much of a stretch to believe that God’s work with Layla here on earth is nearly complete.

 She has the right idea! She is being an example of true FAITH to us all! You never ever ever give up hope, and give your life (and the life of your children) up to God, trusting that whatever He chooses, life or death, peace or pain, will be a part of His perfect and pleasing will, giving glory to Him! I know she's struggling. But her testimony is and will be so powerful! She is a hero of mine! And not only her, but all of the people who are in pain and still find a way to trust that God has a plan and whatever it may be, you're happily along for the ride!

I know that Layla Grace is not the only child suffering from cancer. I know that her mother is not the only person that is being a great example of someone who has TRUE faith in the Lord. This site and story was simply brought to my attention, and I felt the need to share. I hope it touches your heart and teaches you the many lessons it has seemed to teach me lately as I've been reading. I will continue to pray for Layla and her family as they go through these last days, and also for her family as they cope with the loss of their daughter. However, God performs miracles everyday (so don't think I'm giving up hope!)

http://laylagrace.org/

Follow Layla on Twitter

Update February 2015: I believe the website is no more and the Twitter account looks like it is no longer being updated. Praying that the family has coped well with the loss of their beautiful daughter and that the Layla Grace Foundation is a success. 

Breathless

Okay, so I might be a major loser but I hear pretty songs with meaningful lyrics (to me) and sometimes I like to pretend they're Christian-based, because I can totally hear them being Christian-based, even if a "secular" performer is singing the song (NOT saying they're not a Christian, please tell me you understand...) Anyways, so, I'm in a good mood today (this week is tax refund week and financial aid refund week!) and I am sitting here, listening to some Taylor Swift shuffle on my iTunes & hear her new single, "Breathless," which is actually a Better Than Ezra cover that she performed for the Hope for Haiti telethon in January. So I'm listening to it, loving it of course (if you didn't know this, I'm a major Taylor Swift fan), & I can totally see it being a Christian song -- one of forgiveness and unconditional love of the Father! I know that some might disagree with me...but that's just how I saw it at the moment and thought I would share this beautiful song with you! I included a YouTube of her performing it at the telethon for you so you can hear it if you want! Enjoy! :)

Breathless lyrics:
Here you are now
Fresh from your war
Back from the edge of time
And all that you were,
Stripped to the bone
I thought you­'d want to know

That when you feel the world is crashing
All around your feet
Come running headlong into my arms
Breathless
I'll never judge you
I can only love you
Come now running headlong
Into my arms
Breathless

Lay down your guns
Too weak to run
Nothing can harm you here
Your precious heart
Broken and scarred
Somehow you made it through
I only ask that you won't go again

When you feel the world is crashing
All around your feet
Come running headlong into my arms
Breathless
I'll never judge you
I can only love you
Come now running headlong
Into my arms
Breathless

So glad to see you smiling
So good to hear your laugh
I think that you've found you even
Missed yourself
I'm only asking this because I think that
Truth be told
Oh, you'll never go again
Again

When you feel the world is crashing
All around your feet
Come running headlong into my arms
Breathless
I'll never judge you
I can only love you
Come now running headlong
Into my arms
Breathless
Breathless



:)

The Atheist and the Bear

An atheist was walking through the woods.

"What majestic trees!
What powerful rivers!
What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him..

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.

He tripped & fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him...

At that instant the Atheist cried out,
"Oh my God!"

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent...

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came.

"You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.

Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?

Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."