My Time at Hickory High

Two and a half years ago, I closed a chapter of my life and started a new one. I started a whole new career in a place I didn't know a soul. I was desperate for change and eager to learn. I traded in my DSM as a mental health counselor and entered the school counseling world! I still had to travel half an hour to work everyday, and I had to get up earlier, and I couldn't wear jeans anymore. I didn't know how much I'd love it, but like I said, I was eager and ready!

Graduation 2014

I joined the staff at Hickory High School mid-year, which I don't ever recommend for a brand new school counselor. I had a lot to learn and asked my team members a million questions. I learned quickly and there was a handful of students who I gained actual relationships with who I was able to help in my short time with them before they graduated that June. That felt nice!

The next two school years I had the wonderful experience of working with some of the best in the business, seeing how things really work in a school, gaining some unforgettable relationships with some of the most amazing young adults, and doing what I could to help my team, my students, and my school.

Graduation 2015

Graduation (morning) 2016

Growing up, going to Lincolnton High, I had Wolfpack pride! Especially after my years at Appalachian State, my "pride" colors were black & gold! For a few years I will admit that I cheered for North Lincoln High School, but that was only because my brother was playing football for them. After he graduated, that wasn't a thing. I luckily got to put my black & gold back on for a couple years when my cousin Nick played football for LHS. That felt good to pull for my home team again! (If you know me, I'm not usually at sports events unless I know the players. I'm their fan, not really a "sports" fan, ESPECIALLY if it's cold out.) So when I joined the staff at Hickory High, I have to admit, it was weird. I have never been "a part of" another school before, aside from Lincolnton High. I didn't own anything garnet & gold... sounded like Redskins colors to me!!

Slowly my wardrobe grew and I now have approximately 700 Hickory High t-shirts and random garnet & gold wardrobe staples and accessories. When people around town (Lincolnton) would see the magnet on my car of the Hickory High logo, they'd ask, "Why do you have THAT on there?" and my reply would always be "That's my school!" and I meant it. Hickory High had become my new home. I was proud of my school and my students. I loved my job. I didn't love the commute, but I loved working in Hickory, you know, near Hobby Lobby & Target. If I'm going to live in Lincolnton without sufficient shopping, I might as well work in a town that I can shop in, amiright?!

I gained some close friendships at Hickory High in  my coworkers, but what I value the most is the relationships I formed with students who (I feel) really needed me and I was able to help. I know I didn't get to "save" them all. Heck, I know some of my students didn't even graduate. But don't think I wouldn't stop on the side of 127 if I saw them walking down the road to ask them why their butt isn't in school. I love my kids. I truly care about my kids. I will be in their corner, root for them, advocate for them, and do whatever I am able to see them succeed. Trust and believe that. I love working in such a diverse environment. Hickory has it all. The low of the lows, the high of the highs. (Is that a saying? If not, you get what I'm saying.) I mean that in academics, as well as in socioeconomic status. It has students who can't read on a middle school level. We have students who can get into whatever college they want. We have homeless students. We have students who live in mansions. I LOVE the diversity at Hickory High. I think because it reminds me so much of the diversity at Lincolnton High. I'm a sucker for oneness, living together, and learning from each other.

I have learned through my time at Hickory High School that I can. I can learn. I can try. I can do. I will fail. I will learn lessons. I will succeed. I also learned that home is where you make it.

My HHS baby shower in January 2016

June 14th was my last day as a Hickory High Red Tornado. It was a very sad day for me, but it helped that I was hurrying to pack up and head out because the building didn't have air conditioning, haha!! I will obviously miss it, but am excited to start a new chapter in my career, as a Fred T. Foard Tiger! I cannot wait to see what the future holds for me there. I've heard nothing but great things about the school. Hickory will obviously hold a special place in my heart, but home is where you make it. :)

*See story below :)

*Funny story: Returning from maternity leave, I needed to pump at work to continue to breastfeed KJ. Twice a day, I had to go in my office, lock the door, pump, and pretend I wasn't there. The first time I did, I must have forgotten to put a sign on my door, so my amazing pal, Frank Pait, put this sign on my door. Now that's love!! I used it every pump session for the rest of the year. :) I am going to miss the friendships and moments such as this-- just simple signs that say, "I got your back." Poor Mr. Pait, surrounded by all those women!! Haha!! 

Year #1: A Reflection

Today, as I reflect on this past year, learning to be a wife and to do life with someone else, I realize how beautiful of a day it is. I know someone's getting married today, and probably outside because they were a risk-taker like myself.  Well lucky for them, there's a 0% chance of precipitation today in this part of North Carolina. {As much as I want to "get over it," it's still hard. BUT} somewhere someone is getting married outside today and it will rain. First of all, I hope you have a plan B. And second, I hope your plan B is as beautiful as mine was. My plan B wedding was beautiful, but what made it the most beautiful was the people there. I will never forget that day as the day spent with all my loved ones, supporting Alex and I as we began our life together. The efforts from those who had to move things around at the last minute, get wet in the rain, and stress for me did not go unnoticed and I will forever be grateful. I promise you that. 

But, today I am not really reflecting on our wedding day, but the crazy year following that wedding day. 

They say the first year of marriage is hard. I'm scared to say it's the worst, because you never know what the future holds, BUT-- I can see how some people say it's the worst. As you may or may not know/care, Alex and I did not live together before we were married. So it went a little something like this: You have the hustle and bustle of wedding planning, followed by one of you moving (for us, it was me...fun), and then all of a sudden you have a roommate, who is not only a boy, but is now your HUSBAND! That's a lot to do and a lot to figure out in a short amount of time. The good news is, we have the rest of our lives to figure it out.

This past year, a lot has happened:

• I moved (like I said) for the 11th time in eight years. (No joke. I am not a fan.)
• We spent a week honeymooning in paradise. (We highly recommend Sandals Grande Riviera in Ocho Rios, Jamaica.) 

• I finished my first and (little did I know) last full school year doing school-based therapy at Bessemer City Middle School. I really miss the staff there and most of my kids. ;) That had the potential to be an amazing job. 

I spent two months taking a break from life, work, and stress. I consistently worked out, slept well, ate carbs again, and didn't gain any weight back from my pre-wedding diet. I had lots of girl time with my gal pals and spent lots of time at my in-laws' pool. It was amazing.

I started a new position at work in August. I absolutely hated it and unfortunately, it showed in and affected every area of my life. 

In September, we had less than a week to decide if we were going to move. An opportunity arose for us to invest in another fixer-upper and we jumped on the chance. I say that lightly, but putting our house on the market, fixing a house up for a month, and then moving (for my now 12th time in 8 years) was taxing. Taxing, but worth it. 

"Before"

"After"

• By November, I was looking for a plan B. I signed up to take the Praxis so I could obtain my school counseling licensure. Working in mental health was not what I thought it was going to be and I couldn't let the negatives of my job continue to affect the rest of my life. I wasn't even seeing clients anymore, so I didn't have much left to miss. 
• I learned a great lesson. I learned that no matter how perfect something seems, if it's not God's will, you need to be able to walk away. I had the most amazing job interview. I nailed it, or so I thought. We laughed. I answered all their questions promptly and with ease. We discussed start dates and me having to put in a notice at my current job. They told me they valued my integrity. They complimented me often during the interview. And more importantly, I had connections. I was told I'd hear from them within 2 days as I was their last interview. I waited patiently to hear back. Christmas break came and went. I never heard another word. As perfect as it had seemed, I had to let it go. I was still miserable at my current job, but knew God had something better in mind. As perfect as I thought that job opportunity was, it obviously wasn't. (Note to employers: Don't say you'll notify an interviewee either way if you don't plan on doing so. That's just mean.) It's a perfect life lesson to take with me in all aspects of life: Just because something seems perfect, doesn't mean it's for your best. Let God do the working out; you'll thank Him later. 
• We celebrated our first holidays as husband and wife. We've been together many-o-holidays in the past 10ish years together; however, we've never actually celebrated all holidays fully together. It was awesome and different and a learning experience. I am grateful we have so many loved ones to visit. Balancing how to see them all in a decent amount of time without going crazy will be something we hope to figure out in years to come. :)  

Merry Christmas from the Mullens!

• I started my new job at the end of January. Saying "see you later" to my life working in mental health, and to my amazing co-workers was tough, but I knew it was necessary. I didn't worry about seeing my co-workers again. Almost all of us have left now and we get together on a regular basis to have girl time. Real friends stay in touch. I value my time, experience, and relationships formed from working in mental health, but now it's time to start new experiences and form new relationships. 
• I have yet to complain about my new job. It may come in the future, but it's 10x better than the day-to-day I previously faced, emotionally speaking. It is absolutely draining to hate your job. Once I started my new job, I had to figure out how to get my life back. I (of course) had gained back every pound I had previously lost. (Stress and depression will do that to ya.) I had to get back to eating better, getting rest, exercising again, and trying to be the wife and friend I knew I could be.  That's tough--knowing you need to do better in 10+ areas of life and trying to improve in them all at the same time, knowing it's what you and your husband deserve. That alone is stressful, but I am thankful for the opportunity to be able to try. I am super grateful for Alex being as supportive as he has been. He is so thankful for my new job as well, and he tells me he sees a difference in my mood, spirit, and energy since changing jobs. He was there on days I needed him to give me a lift. He was there for me on days I needed him to hand me chocolate and just let me wallow. And that's reason #261 why I love being married, and love being married to Alex. 
• We just spent our last week of year #1 in Mexico, celebrating our one year anniversary.

...and Alex started his new job the day we came back from vacation.

That's a lot of big changes. That's a lot of transition, which brings lots of emotion. Learning to juggle those emotions with learning how to live with a new person and BE MARRIED is tough stuff, which probably has something to do with the fact that people say the first year is the toughest. But man oh man, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am eternally grateful to say that I am married to my husband, to his family, and to our life together. I am no longer me, I am part of an us. A for-real, legit, committed, signed and sealed official, and ready-for-the-long-haul version of us. That's scary but so awesome at the same time. I am no longer responsible for just me (which I have always struggled with), but I am also responsible for half of us (and sometimes both of us, haha) and that's something I need. It's good and healthy for me to learn to live, grow, and be with my favorite husband. It's good to have someone you can be 100% vulnerable with, and I think it's even better that we chose to wait to figure life out together until we were married. This way, there's no exit option. ;) Haha.... but really, we chose and vowed to not only live life together, but to figure out how to do it in a way that's best for us and hopefully glorifies the Lord along the way. We have learned a lot about life, each other, and what it means to be married this year. But all in all, we know we have a LOT left to learn. We are newbies at this. We WILL mess up but we WILL figure out how to fix it, some how, some way, at some time. We are in this together and for that, I am pretty excited to see what year #2 holds. I'm sure it'll bring some sort of transition. Each year seems to do that. But togetherness is what it's about. I am so thankful for the other half of my us. I feel secure knowing he tries to make every decision with my and our best in mind.

I always hoped I'd get to marry my high school sweetheart; he had a lot of great qualities. Thank God we're not who we were in high school, but as we grew up, still gravitated towards each other. I thought I liked him when I was in 10th grade...but high school Alex has nothing on adult Alex and I am so thankful I got to marry adult Alex!! Like I said above, "Just because something seems perfect, doesn't mean it's for your best. Let God do the working out; you'll thank Him later." 

Staying tuned to see what favor we'll experience and lessons we'll learn together in year #2..... ♥

Lightening my load...plus extra random tid bits on my mind

Sometimes I find myself creating a really long, random Facebook status/post about five different things. Sometimes I actually do think before I post and delete, telling myself: A) that was going to be way too long & B) who cares?

Sometimes I want to post like five different things back to back. I guess that's what Twitter is for. But I just cannot manage the 140 or less character limit. Nor can I stand checking Twitter. And I don't know who I actually know that's on Twitter that isn't my Facebook friend. Facebook's way easier. I really don't even know why I have an Instagram. (Oh wait, yes I do) - because everyone I know posts their IG pics on IG & on Facebook. And then there's those 2 friends who are on IG but not on Facebook (hey Ashley & Julie!)

Anyways. I'll resort to vomiting my random thoughts/feelings on HERE instead of on Facebook. That way, only those who stumble upon my blog will read it...and if you're this far into the post & still reading, it's because you want to. I may or may not post a link on my FB wall to check this post out *if you want*.. get it? That way you can only say you know because you went that extra click to see what I had to say. Because you care. Or because you're super nosey, but whatever.

I can really get off topic. What I was GOING to say was... (a few different things I feel like bullet-listing today)...

• I am so thankful for a day off work. I put my notice in a week ago and it felt SO good. Only ONE more day of evals & 4 more workdays! Thanks be to God! I had a nightmare last night about doing evals...and how my 1 eval turned into 1 with their 3 kids (making it 4 evals) and I had an allergic reaction and my mouth and tongue swole up and I could hardly breathe. And I was told to figure out how to get them all done anyways. Even knowing I'm on my way out and I'm still having work-related nightmares. This is not okay. 
• On that note, I am so excited to start something completely new and challenging. A healthy kind of challenging. I am so eager to learn and get my feet wet. I am so excited that I get to begin my school counseling career at a high school. While I would have taken any job and made it work, high schoolers are my thing! Don't get me wrong- I loved doing therapy with my middle schoolers last year, but I kept finding myself thinking, "I'd love to talk to you in three to six years." :) 
• I am off work today (I think I said that already) but I am doing what I can to take some weight off my shoulders....and the rest of my body. I am letting this unhealthy breakfast settle (don't judge) and then I am getting my butt to to gym for workout #1 for the day. Then I plan on coming home, parking myself at the dining room table (where I feel I will be most productive) & getting as much wedding video editing done as possible today. I hope to reveal my 2nd video to you super soon! Here's mine/my first. :) THEN I will be attending my first ever yoga class this evening! More on that later...
• And I have to figure out how to drug myself & with what to get myself asleep at like 9pm tonight so I can get on my new crazy sleep schedule. I'll have to be at work at 7:15. While means I need to leave the house at 6:45. Which means I need to wake up at like...5:15 to be safe. Which means I need to go to bed at 6pm. (just kidding....but seriously, have to figure this thing out or I will die.)

So many thoughts...so little time! I hope you are having a wonderful day, whatever day you read this! Do something today to lighten your load...your physical or your mental load. Either way, weight's hard to carry. 

♥,

Nicole

Starting off 2014 a little more positive

So the last time I blogged I think I was having a nervous breakdown. I was completely overwhelmed and that was mid(?) November. Fast forward to mid January. It's 2014. It's a new year. And I am working very hard to make this year better than the last. I think that should be a general rule: Try to make this year better than last year.

I think some work-related depression coupled with my anxiety just spun things out of control. Any small task seemed like the end of the world and when I'm overwhelmed, well, good luck. I am glad I am a therapist and know "the secrets" of what to do in situations like that. Not that I readily use said skills, but I know what to do in case I want to do what's best. Sometimes I just want to close my eyes, or sleep, or cry, or just watch The Mindy Project on the couch with my favorite husband while I eat whatever I want. And that's okay!

But this is 2014 and I'm doing things differently like everyone else, right? Fingers crossed! I got together with some work gal pals a few weeks ago and it turned into a self-help group. We all work(ed) together so we felt each other's pain and could vent and laugh about our frustrations and just how low things had gotten. We made a self-help plan if you will, which we called Operation 4-3-2-1. This was primarily for me & one other gal pal, and the other two used their therapeutic skills to help us make realistic, small, obtainable, measurable goals...because that's what you do as a therapist. Right? Right! I was supposed to make sure I did the four things however many times a week I was supposed to. Well, so far not so great but dang I'm trying! I have increased my exercise, cooking, vitamin-taking, and ... other things :) & that's what matters! I am on my way! Wait on me...I'm coming!

I really do want 2014 to be better. 2013 was my best year yet. SOOO many amazing things happened in 2013. God rained down blessings upon me & for that I am thankful! 2013 was also pretty difficult for me and I could have done some things better. I really shouldn't beat myself up, but when you have anxiety brain like I do...guilt and shame typically follow. I am working on it!! :) I just started the book Grace For The Good Girls: Letting Go Of The Try Hard Life by Emily P. Freeman. A local church just began a Bible study on the book last week (& I missed it! Ugh!) but I plan to join them next week. The book was recommended to me by a few friends after they read my last blog post/meltdown.

I am extremely thankful for my gal pals that have supported me lately. I have felt the love, y'all. You ROCK!

As A-MAZING as 2013 was, I have a feeling 2014 will be even better!! Don't ask me how because it's got some big shoes to fill! But a new job, having my summer off (and all other school scheduled breaks), celebrating our one year anniversary, turning 2-7 (yikes), and whatever else 2014 has to offer won't hurt!

{Insert your thoughts about the fact that 2014 may include a baby Mullen....you all do that to me any time I talk about good things happening, haha.}

Hopefully with the new job I will have some more time to do life. I already have a pending to-do list and have made the executive decision to not add any un-needed responsibilities on my plate until I get my life back together. That's a start, right??

Wish me luck!!

♥,
Nicole

Insert random pic of me & my favorite husband ~ Happy New Year!

3 things...2012/2013

I heard of a great idea* & it totally inspired a blog post. Hooray!
{Can you tell I'm avoiding working from home?}

Here are 3 good things about 2012:

1. Alex & I got engaged! {DUH! You knew that was going to be #1... ten years is a long time, people!} No but really, I OFFICIALLY get to begin planning my future with my best friend & that was amazing news! 
2. All my grandparents ended the year in good health. 2012 was a hard year that included a lot of serious health scares. I want to thank the Lord that my grandparents are "home" and healthy. 
3. I made new friends & reunited with old ones. My girlfriends mean a great, great deal to me. I love how we can spend however long apart & when we're back together it's like no time passed. 

And 3 things I am looking forward to in 2013:

1. Being a bride! Marrying the love of my life and making him my roommate! ;) 
2. Having the summer off work. {Sorry, I'm not sorry!} My brain requires a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it's temporary, for me to somewhat function properly. I am so thankful my job is allowing me this opportunity! 
3. Seeing the benefits continue of my new low-carb diet. :) Christmas break reminded me why I need to remain focused & how multiple {and by multiple, I mean 12}cheat days in a row can backfire on you. But even after Christmas break, I was still 8 lbs lighter so I am just going to keep on keepin' on! I might even work out in 2013 ;) You never know....

Doesn't it feel great to reminisce? And doesn't it feel great to have something to look forward to?

♥,

Nicole

*I completely stole this idea from my friend, Winter.

My day. ... What if?

I had one of those days yesterday when nothing went right. To end the day, I broke my flashdrive. You know, the thing that held ALL my work-related everything and the thing I had NOT backed up since June. This has happened before. You'd think I'd learn. You'd think. Either way, I spent an entire day today in front of a computer, re-doing the notes I had done last week, that were due yesterday, and pulling any documentation I could recover via email. Let me tell you...it was a fun day. Oh, and I stapled my finger this morning. That was a first. I'm not gonna lie, it hurt and it bled. But I had a fuss fest nice lunch with three of my awesome co-workers today. That was the highlight of my twelve-hour-workday. That and telling Paul about the time I cried going down the slopes at App Ski Mountain. Good times, good times.

I really shouldn't complain about my day, but that's what I've been doing. I fit into a size smaller pair of jeans today that I must have bought last year on clearance {because I know I did not wear that size last year.} That's a definite plus! And I laughed the whole way to work listening to Wake Up With Taylor on COSMO Radio and the local Ace & TJ Show {my two favorite morning shows}. That's something to be thankful for, right? ...Right!

I saw this on Pinterest tonight while I was watching two hours an hour and 45 minutes {I wasn't super into The Mindy Project} of comedy TV on FOX tonight. I love me some New Girl and tonight was the season premiere of Raising Hope. I had been missing that show!! Ben and Kate got me LOLing too, so, I'm probably going to add that to my list for now. I totally just got side-tracked {ADHD brain}... What I was saying was I saw this on Pinterest tonight:

Wow! What if??

I just want to say- Thank you, God, for loving me no matter how thankless or thankful I am. Thank you, for all your blessings, even those I find annoying and inconvenient.

It really makes you think, doesn't it? What if?

Wedding update, Work update, & a Shout Out

Well, well.. 

Wedding Update:

There is no update. I haven't even told my bridesmaids that I want them to be my bridesmaids, or maid of honor, or matrons of honor, or whatever it is I'll be having. We have no date. We have no venue. We have a lot of nothing. But it'll be okay! I have a groom-to-be and I have the address to the courthouse {worst case scenario} so... I'm really trying to not worry about it. 

Work Update: 

I started my new position this week at Bessemer City Middle School! All the staff are being super nice and welcoming to me, which is great, because that was a fear of mine {that they wouldn't be} and I finally have my office looking better & better every day. {Pictures to come} I realized yesterday, while I sat in the school cafeteria during lunch time, looking around that I have not been inside a middle school since I was in middle school! I know I was a small middle schooler {and by small I mean short}but there are some TINY middle schoolers! It breaks my heart that they are being introduced to all things middle school. They should have their own school for super tiny, really cute kids. Because that's what they are. There's no way they are middle schoolers. :) And then there's some freakishly huge middle schoolers. Seriously, something's in the water, or the cows, or the chickens- I don't know. But  guys, if she looks like she's 18, you better get an I.D. because she may or may not be in the 8th grade. {For reals}

Also, for those of you who have asked me.. I'll just clarify. My new "job" is actually a new position for the same company I've been working for since I graduated. Instead of seeing clients for outpatient therapy {"counseling"}as needed in the office, I'll be at the school, doing therapy, and all my clients will come from that school and I'll see them at school during school time. Pretty neat! I feel like I'm so blessed to get to experience "the best of both worlds" because I'm technically in the mental health field, still working towards my {full} licensure hours, and am in a school everyday, and will have next summer off! Seriously, provisionally-licensed clinicians rarely get this opportunity. I have been very lucky thus far in my "career." {I still feel weird saying that word.}

Shout Out:

Can I give my boo a shout out? Because that boy deserves it! He has gone over and beyond lately to make me the happiest girl ever and I am thanking the Lord every day for making me the future wife of this man! We spent Thursday AND Friday nights after work working on making over this super old & ugly table that was left in my office. 

Before...

During...

{And I don't have an "after picture" yet.

It'll come with the pics of the office, because that's where it returned!}

And Saturday morning he rode with me to the school to work on my office. He helped me paint one of the walls, and hang paper lanterns, and clean up old delinquents' messes. {My room is the old "ISS" room so envision the words "F" YOU, and THIS PLACE SUCKS written in whatever writing utensil they had at the time.} Alex assisted with minimal complaining and for that alone, I'm thankful! ;) That evening we had mini engagement session with Jess-Rudisill Photography. That deserves a post all on its own! To make a long story short though, Alex cracked me up for an hour, and it was such a good time! And by "cracked me up for an hour" I mean that we may or may not have any good pictures because I really couldn't stop laughing. {I know, I know, sometimes it's cute to see a couple all smiling and laughing in their pictures... but this got out of control.} He did complain {about the oddest things I would say} a bit but I am hoping to get some good new favorite pics of us out of the session! I should get those pics soon & I'll be sharing those for sure! ;) Then Sunday while I joined my long lost friend Tori & her husband for lunch in Hickory and had a Mary Kay date with an old RA from Ike, Hannah, Alex spent the afternoon helping my lovely father move. {Hate I missed that, really.}

Adding some fun, color, and happiness to a very scary room :) 

So you see why he deserves a shout out?

He's just being so darn nice. And cooperative. And that's how I like him. :)

{Love you Al!} 

& here's the {now} mRs. Tori Madsen Benoit :) ... ♥ her 

& here's our "sneak peak" of the engagement session. :)

Yes, I'm wearing the same top{s}... Please don't judge me.

That's all I know. I'm just darn proud I remembered to blog about these things! I have been soooo ADHD lately. Really needing some psychiatric medication at this point, but it's always the mental health therapists that don't take their own advice! ;) 

Until later {and not too much later I hope!}...

♥,

Nicole