Monday, February 27, 2012

My rut somewhat explained

So, I'm not going to lie. I talk about being in a rut. I talk about being down & out. I talk about yada yada yada. The cold hard truth is that I am depressed.  {Hence the previous post.} I don't think I'm alone and I don't think I'll be this way forever. So, that's why I'm being honest.  Usually my blogs are about YouTube videos I like, what's going on in my life, or probably something pertaining to makeup.  I didn't mean to go all clinical on y'all on the last post, but I know some people are interested and some people are ignorant. 

It's been super hard for me lately. I don't know why. For whatever reason, the devil is trying to attack me from left and right and for another unknown reason, God's letting it happen.  {I like to think of myself as a modern day Job, haha.} But in all seriousness, I know this season in my life is God allowing the devil to kick me while I'm down, just so I will have no choice but to turn to God for relief from it all.   I know that true joy comes from the Lord and some days I feel like it's been 100% God & God only getting me out of the bed, getting me out the door, and putting on a happy face.  I want to be the best for my clients and I'm really trying.  I'm actually seeing some great results from some of my clients, which makes me feel like I am making a difference, which really does help.  

It also helps that I have some pretty wise clients.  Like I said in my last post, one of my clients told me, "85% of your circumstances come from your attitude and your actions."  And I reiterated saying It isn't always about what you're going through in life, but how you view your circumstances and what you do with them. 

I don't always take my own advice, but I'm working on it. I think, "If my client told me that, what would I say to them?" or "What homework would I give them?"  The thing is- I've never been good at doing homework, so, that's something I'm working on.  I know I must get through this patch and I am seriously working on it.  It takes time AND EFFORT, but most importantly, God.  Without Him, I don't know where I'd be.  I really don't.  I am thankful each and every day that I am where I am, because so many people have it so so so much worse.  We don't even know.  We can't even fathom.  And no, I'm not talking about the pot-bellied children in Africa that we see on the commercials.  I am talking about people in your very small hometown.  I am talking about people you went to high school with that you didn't even recognize.  Or people who you pass in the grocery store, or people you talk to each and every day.  We have no idea what people are going through, what they've been through, or what they will go through.  This isn't a big "love everybody" PSA, even though I think we should love everybody, haha, but I am just saying....BE. MORE. AWARE. and be more compassionate.  Help others, on purpose, and without seeking assistance in return.  

That has absolutely nothing to do with where I was going, but honestly, I promised a part two and I wanted to deliver a promised post {for once}. So, my mind is in a million places, but I hope you understand a tad bit of why.   Please keep me in your prayers.  I know there's things I need to do, but it's really really hard sometimes.  I want to do and I want to give and I need to learn to take care of myself before I can take care of others. But, I know I can do this! Alex has been super helpful, being extra sweet and encouraging lately, which is what I needed.  And I know that at the end of the day, it's all God's doing.  I just need the devil to LAY THE FREAK OFF so I can do my thang. ;)

and I need to remember these things:

Thanks Pinterest for your awesome motivational quotes tonight. 

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