Monday, January 20, 2014

Lightening my extra random tid bits on my mind

Sometimes I find myself creating a really long, random Facebook status/post about five different things. Sometimes I actually do think before I post and delete, telling myself: A) that was going to be way too long & B) who cares?

Sometimes I want to post like five different things back to back. I guess that's what Twitter is for. But I just cannot manage the 140 or less character limit. Nor can I stand checking Twitter. And I don't know who I actually know that's on Twitter that isn't my Facebook friend. Facebook's way easier. I really don't even know why I have an Instagram. (Oh wait, yes I do) - because everyone I know posts their IG pics on IG & on Facebook. And then there's those 2 friends who are on IG but not on Facebook (hey Ashley & Julie!)

Anyways. I'll resort to vomiting my random thoughts/feelings on HERE instead of on Facebook. That way, only those who stumble upon my blog will read it...and if you're this far into the post & still reading, it's because you want to. I may or may not post a link on my FB wall to check this post out *if you want*.. get it? That way you can only say you know because you went that extra click to see what I had to say. Because you care. Or because you're super nosey, but whatever.

I can really get off topic. What I was GOING to say was... (a few different things I feel like bullet-listing today)...
  • I am so thankful for a day off work. I put my notice in a week ago and it felt SO good. Only ONE more day of evals & 4 more workdays! Thanks be to God! I had a nightmare last night about doing evals...and how my 1 eval turned into 1 with their 3 kids (making it 4 evals) and I had an allergic reaction and my mouth and tongue swole up and I could hardly breathe. And I was told to figure out how to get them all done anyways. Even knowing I'm on my way out and I'm still having work-related nightmares. This is not okay. 
  • On that note, I am so excited to start something completely new and challenging. A healthy kind of challenging. I am so eager to learn and get my feet wet. I am so excited that I get to begin my school counseling career at a high school. While I would have taken any job and made it work, high schoolers are my thing! Don't get me wrong- I loved doing therapy with my middle schoolers last year, but I kept finding myself thinking, "I'd love to talk to you in three to six years." :) 
  • I am off work today (I think I said that already) but I am doing what I can to take some weight off my shoulders....and the rest of my body. I am letting this unhealthy breakfast settle (don't judge) and then I am getting my butt to to gym for workout #1 for the day. Then I plan on coming home, parking myself at the dining room table (where I feel I will be most productive) & getting as much wedding video editing done as possible today. I hope to reveal my 2nd video to you super soon! Here's mine/my first. :) THEN I will be attending my first ever yoga class this evening! More on that later...
  • And I have to figure out how to drug myself & with what to get myself asleep at like 9pm tonight so I can get on my new crazy sleep schedule. I'll have to be at work at 7:15. While means I need to leave the house at 6:45. Which means I need to wake up at like...5:15 to be safe. Which means I need to go to bed at 6pm. (just kidding....but seriously, have to figure this thing out or I will die.)
So many little time! I hope you are having a wonderful day, whatever day you read this! Do something today to lighten your load...your physical or your mental load. Either way, weight's hard to carry. 


Saturday, January 18, 2014

Starting off 2014 a little more positive

So the last time I blogged I think I was having a nervous breakdown. I was completely overwhelmed and that was mid(?) November. Fast forward to mid January. It's 2014. It's a new year. And I am working very hard to make this year better than the last. I think that should be a general rule: Try to make this year better than last year.

I think some work-related depression coupled with my anxiety just spun things out of control. Any small task seemed like the end of the world and when I'm overwhelmed, well, good luck. I am glad I am a therapist and know "the secrets" of what to do in situations like that. Not that I readily use said skills, but I know what to do in case I want to do what's best. Sometimes I just want to close my eyes, or sleep, or cry, or just watch The Mindy Project on the couch with my favorite husband while I eat whatever I want. And that's okay!

But this is 2014 and I'm doing things differently like everyone else, right? Fingers crossed! I got together with some work gal pals a few weeks ago and it turned into a self-help group. We all work(ed) together so we felt each other's pain and could vent and laugh about our frustrations and just how low things had gotten. We made a self-help plan if you will, which we called Operation 4-3-2-1. This was primarily for me & one other gal pal, and the other two used their therapeutic skills to help us make realistic, small, obtainable, measurable goals...because that's what you do as a therapist. Right? Right! I was supposed to make sure I did the four things however many times a week I was supposed to. Well, so far not so great but dang I'm trying! I have increased my exercise, cooking, vitamin-taking, and ... other things :) & that's what matters! I am on my way! Wait on me...I'm coming!

I really do want 2014 to be better. 2013 was my best year yet. SOOO many amazing things happened in 2013. God rained down blessings upon me & for that I am thankful! 2013 was also pretty difficult for me and I could have done some things better. I really shouldn't beat myself up, but when you have anxiety brain like I do...guilt and shame typically follow. I am working on it!! :) I just started the book Grace For The Good Girls: Letting Go Of The Try Hard Life by Emily P. Freeman. A local church just began a Bible study on the book last week (& I missed it! Ugh!) but I plan to join them next week. The book was recommended to me by a few friends after they read my last blog post/meltdown.

I am extremely thankful for my gal pals that have supported me lately. I have felt the love, y'all. You ROCK!

As A-MAZING as 2013 was, I have a feeling 2014 will be even better!! Don't ask me how because it's got some big shoes to fill! But a new job, having my summer off (and all other school scheduled breaks), celebrating our one year anniversary, turning 2-7 (yikes), and whatever else 2014 has to offer won't hurt!

{Insert your thoughts about the fact that 2014 may include a baby all do that to me any time I talk about good things happening, haha.}

Hopefully with the new job I will have some more time to do life. I already have a pending to-do list and have made the executive decision to not add any un-needed responsibilities on my plate until I get my life back together. That's a start, right??

Wish me luck!!


Insert random pic of me & my favorite husband ~ Happy New Year!

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