He's Just Not That Into You

SOME OF MY FAVORITE EXCERPTS FROM "He's Just Not That Into You":::


If a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain't nothing that's going to get in his way. And if he's not sane, why would you want him?

We are all beautiful, smart, funny women, and we shouldn't be wasting our time figuring out why a guy isn't calling us.

If the guy you're dating doesn't seem to be completely into you, or you feel the need to start "figuring him out", please consider the glorious thought that he might just not be that into you. And then free yourself to go find the one that is.

When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can't keep his eyes and hands off you, and when it's time to have sex, he's more than overjoyed to oblige.

You know you deserve to have a great relationship.

Don't waste the pretty!

Men don't forget how much they like you, so put down the phone.

He's just not that into you if he's not calling you. Men know how to use the phone.

Oh sure, they say they're busy.They say that they don't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just THAT CRAZY. Bullcrap. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing it is almost impossible NOT to call you.

If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.

Here's something to think about: Calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house, baby. And it's cold outside.

Missing someone is a sign of a healthy relationship. Not respecting your need to have some form of communication with him while he's away is not. Regardless of his dislike for talking on the phone, he should respect and care for you enough to call you, if only because he knows it will make you happy.

Men are NEVER too busy to get what they want.

If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn't respect your feelings and needs.

"Hanging out" is NOT dating.

THE IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING EXCUSE:
Really? Is better than nothing what we're going for now? I was hoping for at least a lot better than nothing. Or perhaps even something. Have you lost your marbles? Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time? Just because he's busy doesn't make him more valuable. "Busy" does not mean "better".

I know. Every two weeks, once a month, seeing someone, having a little love and affection may help you get through the day or the week or the month- but will it get you through a lifetime?

I don't want to be "sort of dating" someone. I don't want to be "sort of hanging out" with someone. I don't want to spend a lot of my energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved. I want to be sleeping with someone I know I'll see again because they've already demonstrated to me that they're trustworthy and honorable- and INTO ME.

If you don't know where the relationship is going, it's okay to pull over and ask.

There is a guy out there that will tell everyone that he's your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.

I know it's nice to have a companionship and wake up with somebody that you really like, but that's what pets are for. Pets are God's way of saying, "Don't lower the bar because you're lonely."

We deserve more than a slumber party.

Cristina's Computerized Painting of Our Summer in Lincolnton

Cristina Leon was so incredibly bored one day in the summer of 2006 that she created this amazing masterpiece via Paint, yes.. the rinky dink accessory from Microsoft Office. A-MAZING! check out the detail, and the descriptions! hahaha. this is why i love her... (click the picture for more details!)

What Every Woman Should Have & Know

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE:

• one old love she can imagine going back to and one who reminds her how far she has come...
• enough money within her control to move out & rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to
• something perfect to wear if an employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour
• a youth she's content to leave behind
• a past juicy enough she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age
• a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra
• one friend who always makes her laugh and one who lets her cry
• a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family
• eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored
• a feeling of control over her destiny

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW:

• how to fall in love without losing herself
• how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...AND how to change a tire!!!
• when to try harder & when to walk away
• that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents
• that her childhood may not have been perfect but it's over
• what she would and wouldn't do for love and more
• how to live alone even if she doesn't like it
• whom she CAN trust, whom she CAN'T trust, and why she shouldn't take it personally
• where to go...whether it be her best friend's kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods...when her soul needs soothing
• what she can and can't accomplish in a day, month, and year.

What Men Want You To Know

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

100 Things Ever Man Should Know

100 things that every man should know.
if you're interested, and all you males out there should be, then

100. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something. Remember: No matter how bad it sounds, shes going to outlive you.

99. Most women will not have sex for the first time with a guy unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, shes trying to keep herself in line.

98. No matter how much she reassures you, if you cant get a hard-on she assumes youre not attracted to her.

97. Beware of your girlfriend's single party friend or gay bud. They want her to be single with them and will encourage any bad behavior as often as possible.

96. Jewelry. Now you always know what to get her for a last-minute gift. [but it better be real, & worth showing off]

95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.

94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesnt get along with other women because she's either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.

93. Girls who say, I love sports! are lying. Girls who ask you what time the game is on, without specifying which game theyre talking about, are not.

92. A random hookup is more likely to result in pregnancy, because a woman has more sex when shes most fertile.

91. She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.

90. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if its their car.

89. A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a $500 gift from Fortunoff. Why? Because her friends will ask where she got it.

88. If I give you my number on Friday, Tuesday and Wednesday are your best bets to score a date. Monday is too desperate, Thursday is too late.

87. Your female coworkers are obsessed with the fact that on average they receive less pay than male counterparts and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant is irrelevant to the discussion.

86. Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like putting your jacket over a mud puddle for her, you noble bastard.

85. A recent study revealed that natural blondes could be extinct in 200 years, so unless shes Norwegian, her towhead might be bottled.

84. Sixteen percent of American men have been with a prostitute, which is scientific proof most women are decent in bed.

83. Women always want to believe what youre saying is true.

82. What do women really want in bed? More blankets. They get colder than men.

81. The threesome is not about you; its about the two girls. If you're lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the other one because there's a good chance it'll end the relationship.

80. If women have an excuse to take a pill, they'll take it.

79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you've ever had. [hahahahaha]

78. I hate when my boyfriend is sweaty and tries to lie down on top of me or cuddle after I've come. Wait five minutes.

77. The average woman kisses 79 men before getting married.

76. She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming and she'll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you.

75. Women who are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash.

74. Girls who buy their men lap dances and pretend to enjoy it are kidding themselves. Theyre trying to keep him happy with some controlled freedom.

73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.

72. During emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives them more practice. [so true]

70. Unless theyre lesbians, she wont approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if theyre ugly. And, really, even if they're lesbians.

69. If you have something to hide, she'll find it. [gosh how true!]

68. Eighty-five: The number of males per 100 females in Gary, Indiana, lowest male-to-female ratio of any city with a population of 100,000-plus. The highest male-to-female ratio is in Salinas, California: 114 males for every 100 females.

67. Kiss her before two dates have gone by or you'll be friended.

66. They can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.

65. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win.

64. An online dating services survey found that a womans ideal man has brown hair and blue eyes.

63. In the U.S., 21 percent of women ages 18 to 59 hold out for their honeymoon.

62. A British study claims a womans chances of getting married drop by 40 percent for every 16-point rise in her IQ. The same increase in IQ for a man boosted his chances of getting married by 35 percent.

61. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.

60. Women often cite manhandling of breasts as the biggest foreplay faux pas.

59. When Im drunk, I cant come. Not even with a vibrator.

58. If they're going to do it, most wives cheat between the ages of 18 and 29.

57. Most women think theyre better drivers than they are. Dont point this out while shes at the wheel or she'll freak and crash.

56. Women ingest about half the lipstick they apply, which means they eat approximately one to three sticks per year.

54. A woman might say she just wants sex, but sleep with her for a while and she'll change her tune. I've known so many women who think they can pull this off, but they always develop feelings for the guy.

53. According to the American Association of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, Angelina Jolies lips were the most requested celebrity feature among all female patients in 2004.

52. Despite always complimenting another womans short haircut, she secretly celebrates having one less competitor, since men prefer long hair.

51. Dont call her cute. In her mind its the same as not vomit-inducing. Sexy, OK. Hot, yes. Fucking awesome, only if shes at least slightly buzzed.

50. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because theyre in denial about the size of their feet, which they cant stand.

49. They dream of one day peeing in a urinal.

48. Women know where they stand looks-wise but worry about being considered cool, about which they're unsure.

47. According to the U.S. Bureau of Statistics, 23 percent of 18- to 34-year-old women live with their parents, versus 31 percent of you losers.

46. Women want to talk dirty, but theyre afraid you wont respect them in the morning. Reassure her that letting go in bed doesnt make her less classy and shell probably go wild. Jger helps.

45. Twenty-three percent of this magazines readers are women.

44. A psycho jealous girl will do anything to keep her man, including anal.

41. If she suddenly cuts her hair short, it might mean she no longer cares what you think of her. But that doesnt mean she doesnt care about someone elses opinion.

40. About half of all brides will lose a good friend over a ridiculous bridesmaid squabble.

39. It never hurts to say you're sorry, even if you don't mean it.

38. Let her beat you at something once in a while: poker, chess, Ping-Pong, and she'll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quiet.

37. Womens public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than mens.

36. At one point or another, Ive gone through your things looking for any evidence from past relationships. Im talking photographs, postcards, mementos, address books, diaries. If you dont like it, get rid of this stuff before letting me in your apartment. Its not about trust; its about curiosity, and it drives us crazy till its been satiated.

35. Like you, girls hate nothing more than a clingy partner who needs them every eight seconds.

34. Chick rock strikes a deeply primal chord inside women while simultaneously revolting men. Just sit back and let her sing the Sarah McLachlan or Ani DiFranco song. Its only about four minutes long.

33. The average woman owns eight bras and wears each one five times before washing.

32. Girls will not sit on any toilet outside their own home or a five-star hotel. Everywhere else theyre hovering above the toilet in a squat.

31. Got a new girl coming over? Your (tidy) bathroom should include clean linen, a box of Puffs Plus, and several full rolls of TP.

30. Dont caress our faces while were kissing, unless you really, really, really like us.

29. On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.

28. Breast augmentation surgery has grown by 257 percent since 1997. The most popular size? C-cup. As if you didnt know.

27. Gain her trust when youre out by calling her at 10 P.M. Shell go to bed content youre thinking of her, even if youre slurping Jell-O shots off some skanks cleavage.

26. Put down the Drakkar and grab a box of Good & Plenty. Women are turned on by the scent of black licorice.

25. At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you.

24. A good but flawed man is a fixer-upper gem, and women love nothing more than home improvements.

23. Every woman is self-conscious about her ass. Tell her you love her ass and you'll see it more often.

22. If you want more sex, tell your girl an attractive woman hit on you that day. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.

21. More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat.

20. All women think theyre smarter than their partners in some significant way.

19. The more piercings she has, the more places shell let you put it.

18. Once in a while, let her pick the movie and don't complain about it.

17. Any good woman will tell ya, honesty is not always the best policy.

16. Chicks arent afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.

15. Girls dont want to date doormats. So make her proud and refuse to give up bowling night with the guys.

14. Don't take a woman to a concert you really want to see; she'll just want to leave early.

13. Women appreciate a big penis, but having one doesnt give you an excuse to suck at foreplay.

12. Studies show women are more attracted to macho guys near ovulation. The rest of the month, theyre drawn to good providers, otherwise known as chumps.

11. She likes one of your friends.

10. Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason.

9. The minute she decides shes even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.

8. Sixty percent of women in the United States color their hair, according to LOral (who are obviously hoping they can peer-pressure the other 40 percent).

7. Dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid.

6. Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. Thats your five oclock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh. (Mind you, were not suggesting you shave.)

5. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.

4. Foghats Slow Ride is not about a trip in the car. Get the hint?

3. The one breakup line she'll never be able to argue you out of: Im sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you.

2. Buying a present for your girl? She'll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.

1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.

To all you restaurant-goers:

The next time you're out eating at a restaurant, look at your server. Do you think they are really happy to be doing that job? The answer is no, they are not, but its what we do, and we do it for the money so please help them out. Its a tougher job than you think and you should pay them accordingly!

There are SO many people out there flooding the restaurants w/o any knowledge of how to tip. Here is a short guide for the gene ral public to follow. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse.

1. CHILDREN "THE LITTLE DEVILS":
If you have children, DO NOT let them, open and dump anything on the table (ie; salt, sugar, etc). IF YOU DO, you must leave an extra $5 for the server to clean up YOUR CHILD'S mess & to restock the now unusable wasted items. Don't get mad if you ask for crackers and your server tells you they're out when you just saw another table eating crackers with their soup -- can you blame them for not wanting to clean up the mess afterward? We are neither their babysitter nor their parent. The least you can do is pay us for the extra work. Also make sure you control your kids and don't let them scream or run around the restaurant. It's very distracting not to mention dangerous if they get ran over by a server with hot food in their hands.

2. "THE CAMPERS":
If you feel the necessity to stay for longer than 15 minutes after you pay, its an extra $3 every 30 minutes. We make our money from the tables. If you are in one and we can't seat it, we don't make money.

3. COMPLIMENTS:
Telling a server they are the best server they've ever had is not a tip. If we are good, let us know by leaving us more money. We cant pay our bills on compliments. Its not that we don't appreciate the praise, its just that if you say that and then leave 10% it's an insult.

4. THE SALVATION PAMPHLETS: (I love me some Jesus, but this is definitely frustrating!)
Prayer cards and any other religious pamphlet is NOT a tip. It is insulting that you assume we are w/o religion and must save us. Again, like ..3, we cant pay bills w/prayer cards. We'd go to church on Sundays if it wasn't mandatory to work on Sundays because EVERYONE who goes to church follows it by eating out. Also don't try to preach to us while we are working. We don't go to your work and put you down so don't do it to us.

5. TIPPING:
It is not 1960. Cost of living has gone up dramatically since then. 18% is the MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your servers. Remember, that steak is $12.99 not $22.99 because restaurants aren't required to pay minimum wage in most states! We are taxed on 10 percent of your meal automatically anyway, not to mention we have to tip out a percentage of our sales - your bill - to the hosts, bartenders, and bussers. So if you dont leave a tip, WE END UP PAYING FOR YOUR MEAL!! So move that decimal one spot left and multiply by 2 and your server will never be disappointed. ($25 = $2.50 x 2 = $5)

6. THE COMPLAINERS:
If you get a discount because of your food was prepared wrong or something, do not take it out of our tip. We didn't cook it. The cooks get paid hourly regardless if the food sucks. However, we only make what you give us. And don't ever leave a percentage on the total after the discount or comp -- always tip on what the total would have been.

7. THE LATE ONES:
If you come into the restaurant10 mins before closing or any time near closing hurry up and order your food and get out. Closed means closed, not social hour. It is so rude to sit there and take your sweet ass time. We can't leave until you leave because we have to do sidework and clean the table you are sitting at. We don't want to stand there waiting for you for an extra hour just because you don't want to go home. We recommend 24 hour establishments such as Dennys or Steak n Shake if you wish to sit into the wee hours of the night.

8. THE TABLE HOGERS:
If you only come in for coffee or a dessert, to do paper work, or to have a meeting, don't sit there taking up our booths for hours. We are not Starbucks or a hotel restaurant. If you want to sit for hours, go there or else you better leave a good tip for us and camping fee included.


9. THE GREET:
When we come up to the table to greet you and we ask how you are doing please let us know. We honestly want to know how you are doing. If you are in a bad mood we want to know that from the beginning. A confused stare or complete silence does not suffice as a reply to "How are you doing?". Also don't interrupt our greeting and say "I want coffee", "can we get some bread, or "what are the soups?"

10. THOSE DAMN CELL PHONES:
Don't ever talk on your cell phone in a restaurant. This is probably the rudest thing to do. If you must be on your cell, at least keep your voice down in respect for other customers. If you are on your cell phone when we walk up to greet your table we will walk away until you get off your phone. Just show some respect and give us your attention for a couple of minutes.

11. TAKE-AWAY OR TOGOS:
Always remember to tip the take-out order servers! They work just as hard as a server, and hardly ever get tips for it! THEY DESERVE TO BE TIPPED TOO!

SIGNED, YOUR FELLOW RESTAURANT WORKERS

My new favorite book is "No One Else Will Listen: A girl's conversations with God." Check it out! Here's some bits & pieces..

"Forgive me, Lord, but I'm turning to you because nobody else will listen. ... I prayed when I was just a kid, prayers I have been taught. It was all very innocent and simple. Well, I'm not so innocent any more and it isn't simple any more. It's real, very real. And even if I never see you, never hear an answer, I know that you too are real."

"Sometimes it seems nobody loves me, Lord. And to be quite frank, I don't see how they can. I am so clumsy so much of the time. My hair looks awful, I'm having trouble with my skin. I eat too much, I often stuff myself when I feel ashamed. I say and do stupid things. I cry for no good reason. I lash out at people and feel sorry for myself. Lord, help me remember that no miracle is beyond you if I will just relax and stop fighting life the way I do. Nobody can hurt me half as much as I've been hurting myself. Thanks for not despising me even though I'm such a mess."

"I get so discouraged about myself sometimes. All these faults. I keep trying to correct them, but just when I think I've got some of them licked, a couple of new ones, worse ones sometimes, pop up. Or I'll do or say something I thought I would never do again. I'm shocked at myself. I could kick myself. WON'T I LEARN?! Please be patient with me Lord, and teach me to be more patient with myself. Knowing you still love me despite these faults and setbacks helps a lot. Help me not to get too discouraged with myself."

50 Things Admissions Never Told You About College

50 THINGS ADMISSIONS NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT COLLEGE

1. Quarters are gold.

2. Two meals per day is the standard.

3. Road trip whenever possible.

4. Going to the mailbox was never an ego booster/breaker before.

5. You will begin to nap again.

6. Your bookstore bill will almost equal tuition.

7. Squirt guns = Stress relief.

8. Instant messenger becomes an addiction.

9. E-mail becomes your second language

10. College students throw paper airplanes too.

11. You never realized that so many people were smarter than you.

12. College football is the coolest thing on the planet.

13. Western Europe could be wiped out by a horrible plague and you wouldn't
know, but you can recite last week's re-run of The 70's Show verbatim.

14. Cartoons are for all ages.

15. Disney movies are more than just classics.

16. You will never rent/buy more movies in your life.

17. No one is too old for video games.

18. Procrastination is an art form.

19. SNOOD is more addicting than pot.

20. Thanks to Kazaa/Audiogalaxy/Morpheus, you will never listen to any of
your CDs ever again.

21. It never hurt so much to get sick.

22. The health service nurses are there because they couldn't make it at a
real hospital. Never, don't ever forget that.

23. Care packages are right up there with birthdays.

24. Campus is only clean for Family Weekend and Freshman Orientation.

25. Nothing you want to register for will be open.

26. Classes... the later the better.

27. You are no longer thankful that the fire alarms are here to protect you.

28. Jeans may be worn as many times as the wearer desires.

29. The only time to dress up is when your jeans are dirty.

30. Showers become less important; sleep becomes more important.

31. Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night.

32. Creativity in the dining halls is KEY...

33. The freshman 15 is NOT a myth!!!

34. If it's snowing out, the only reason you will leave your room is for food.

35. Dishes smell after days of piling up.

36. Cereal makes a meal any time of the day.

37. You will eat anywhere that is a buffet.

38. You will eat anything that is free.

39. New additions to food groups: pitapit and pizza.

40. Stealing from the dining hall will become second nature.

41. ATM's are the devils advocate. ATM= another Twenty Missing.

42. Keys have never been so important, yet you seem to lose them or lock
yourself out of the room even more.

43. Duct tape heals all wounds.

44. If they say you can't have it in your dorm, they are just kidding.

45. You will come to hate hallways/elevators with a passion. (STAIRS ARE THE
DEVIL)

46. Those ugly cinderblocks are not sound proof.

47. Pictures, posters, emails or anything else to cover the ugly cell we live
in will be transformed
into wallpaper.

48. Everyone is only nice for the first week. After that, no matter how nice
you are, some people just won't smile back. Get used to it.

49. You are never alone!

50. You realize college is the ideal lifestyle, except for those pesky classes

TOP 10 REASONS THAT COLLEGE IS LIKE PRESCHOOL

10. You cry for your mother.

9. You cross the street without looking for cars.

8. Snack time is a necessity.

7. You bundle up for the outdoors without caring what you look like because
everyone else looks as stupid as you do

6. You stay at home and play games with your friends.


5. You wear your backpack on both shoulders.

4. You wear big mittens.

3. Playing in the snow is a legitimate activity.

2. You take naps.

1. You look forward to grilled cheese sandwiches.

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN...

You actually like doing laundry at home.

Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.

You'd rather clean than study.

"Oh man how did it get so late!" comes out of your mouth at least once a night.

Mom's Meatloaf and potatoes become something you desire, not avoid.

Half the time you don't wake up in your own bed and it seems normal.

You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soap operas.

You know the pizza boy by name.

You go to sleep when it's light and get up when it's dark.

You live for getting mail.

Looking out the window is a form of entertainment.

Prank phone calls become funny again.

You start thinking and sounding like your roommate.

Black lights and highlighters are the coolest things on earth.

Rearranging your room is your favorite pastime.

The weekend lasts from Thursday to Sunday.

BEFORE I CAME TO COLLEGE, I WISH I HAD KNOWN...

That it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class, I'd still sleep through it.

That I could change so much and barely realize it

That you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways.

No matter how 'cool' you were in high school, no one here cares.

That if you wear polyester everyone will ask why you are so dressed up.

That every clock on campus shows a different time.

That if you were smart in high school, so what? It doesn't matter here.

That I would go to a party the night before a final.

That Chem. Labs/Art studios take up more time than all my other classes put together.

That you can know everything and fail a test.

That you can know nothing and ace a test.

That I could get used to almost anything found out about my roommate.

That most of my education would be obtained outside of class.

That friendship is more than getting drunk together.

That I would be one of those people that my parents warned me about.

That Sunday is a figment of the world's imagination.

That Psychology is really Biology. That Biology is really Chemistry, that Chemistry is really Physics and that Physics is really Math.

That my parents would become so much smarter in the last few years.

That it's possible to be alone even when friends surround you.

That friends are what make this place worthwhile!